Brad was an incredibly bright young executive with a very promising future. Ever since graduating college, he seemed to take on increased responsibilities in his company like a duck to water. He married his college sweetheart, Nancy, right after graduation and has two small children. Brad's talent didn't go unnoticed in the industry, with several competitors approaching Brad about his willingness to join another firm. He steadfastly resisted, that is until the offer of all offers came his way.
ACME Corp, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits. The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money. Brad joyfully accepted ACME's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.
Within a year of joining ACME, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position. He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night. He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids. He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule. He began putting on weight. Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy. The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.
While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress. The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs. Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain. In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure. In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives. This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way. Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it.
To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:
(a) Relationship Stress
(b) Work Stress
(c) Personal Stress
For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:
1 - Minimal Stress
2 - Moderate Stress
3 - Significant Stress
In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type. Let's put this to an example.
Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year. On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:
Current Position
Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines
New Position
Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers
Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club
Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management
When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:
Stress Type Current Position New Position Increase/Decrease
Relationship 2 3 Increase
Personal 1 2 Increase
Work 2 3 Increase
Ann is now faced with the following decision: Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure? Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no. Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.
There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology:
First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant. The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.
Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels. "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.
Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them. The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way. Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.
Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions. Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.
Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.
Your Go-Dos
When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:
Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job. Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective.
Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals. Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types.
Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.
Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices. Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love.
Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lonnie_Pacelli/16297
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9359733
Showing posts with label making decision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making decision. Show all posts
Wednesday, 24 June 2020
Sunday, 21 June 2020
Wednesday, 17 June 2020
An Identity Crisis Is Vital For Growth Because It Occurs At The Edge Of Chaos And Harmony
Internal Conflict Triggered By Chaos
It was the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson who first coined the term identity crisis.
He formulated eight key stages one undergoes through their adolescent years based on their psychosocial development.
They are:
Stage 1 - Trust vs. Mistrust
Stage 2 - Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Stage 3 - Initiative vs. Guilt
Stage 4 - Industry vs. Inferiority
Stage 5 - Identity vs. Confusion
Stage 6 - Intimacy vs. Isolation
Stage 7 - Generativity vs. Stagnation
Stage 8 - Integrity vs. Despair
Erikson believed a person's personality develops in a series of stages. His model differs to Freud's in that social interactions and relationships impact an individual's development and growth throughout their life.
Each stage builds on the previous one which creates the foundations for growth in the following years.
At each stage, a person experiences internal conflicts, thus creating a turning point in the individual's personality.
The conflicts are based on the understanding that an individual experiences growth or fails to develop these qualities.
In the educational book Key Concepts in Counselling and Psychotherapy: A Critical A-Z Guide to Theory author Vicki Smith gives a clear understanding of how an identity crisis can become a source of power within the individual's psyche: "He (Erikson) believed that we all have identity crises at one time or another in our lives and that these crises do not necessarily represent a negative state but can be a driving force toward positive resolution."
If they integrate the conflicts into their personality, the subsequent growth and development will serve them later in life. If they don't develop these abilities, they are likely to suffer an inhibited sense of self which dominates their life.
Erikson's understanding is that an individual becomes competent when moving through the eight stages and integrates the egoic self into their psyche.
In a similar vein, author Jan Frazier explains in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is the need to transcend the ego by stepping outside the known sense of self: "In order to look at yourself, you have to step outside of it. Look not with the eyes of the ego, but with the eyes of presence."
The Ego Is Not Meant To Dominate Your Life
Many people identify with outer aspects of their life as the basis to their identity.
For example, an individual may believe their role is that of a mother and wife. Yet, if their husband is unfaithful and the marriage dissolves, they will question their identity since they no longer associate with that label.
Similarly, others presume their work, relationships, physical appearance, social and wealth status or performance are measures of their identity.
Regrettably, if these aspects are removed from their life, they experience an identity crisis because they created a persona around them.
I would argue these qualities do not shape your identity but are a vehicle in which to explore your life's narrative.
Your ego is the identity the mind constructs to define itself, yet this is a fictional narrative because external events can disrupt it.
Jan Frazier reaffirms how the roles you play do not construct your identity since there is an underlying presence beneath that: "The roles you play, the features you exhibit, the things you believe in - while they matter very much in the ordinary realm of human discourse - are not what you are. When presence senses itself within you, none of these things have any substance."
Your true identity lies beneath the shadow of the egoic self. An identity crisis is vital to an individual's growth because it allows for chaos and order to reveal one's authentic nature.
An identity crisis can be likened to the shell of an egg breaking open. The shell merely gives form to the ego so it can make sense of its role within society.
The ego is not meant to dominate your life, nor do you wish to banish it. It must be integrated with the authentic self to develop the wholeness of who you are.
Otherwise, the egoic self you once identified with is no longer something you can uphold.
Don't Try To Make Sense Of Chaos
To paint a contrasting view, psychotherapist and meditation teacher Loch Kelly writes in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness how consciousness creates a thinker to uphold the ego, thus forming a mistaken identity in the process: "Afflictive consciousness creates a thinker out of thinking and ego function, and this thought-based sense of self forms the core of mistaken identity. Nothing more than a self-referential loop of thinking about thinking, our mistaken identity is actually a continuous conceptual proliferation that creates solid things out of images and a solid self out of thinking."
What is essential is to unmask the egoic self so the pain, suffering and uncertainty are the underpinnings for future growth and development.
It is like the progress of performance athletes experience when training for the Olympics. They must push to the edge of their limits and discover their potential or risk remaining where they are.
If they push too far too soon, they may invoke physical injury that can sideline them. They may become depressed as a result because their identity is formed around their status of an athlete and performance.
However, from a developmental viewpoint, the experience can be vital to their performance if they can let go of their fixed narrative and former identity.
If you experienced an identity crisis, trust in the deeper psychological lesson guiding your personal development.
Don't try to make sense of the chaos, but surrender to the process, knowing whatever is breaking apart is doing so to make way for the true self to emerge.
To live a remarkable life, you must take consistent action in spite of your fears and doubts. Download a FREE copy of my motivational eBook, NAVIGATE LIFE and embark upon your journey of greatness today!
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9946411
It was the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson who first coined the term identity crisis.
He formulated eight key stages one undergoes through their adolescent years based on their psychosocial development.
They are:
Stage 1 - Trust vs. Mistrust
Stage 2 - Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Stage 3 - Initiative vs. Guilt
Stage 4 - Industry vs. Inferiority
Stage 5 - Identity vs. Confusion
Stage 6 - Intimacy vs. Isolation
Stage 7 - Generativity vs. Stagnation
Stage 8 - Integrity vs. Despair
Erikson believed a person's personality develops in a series of stages. His model differs to Freud's in that social interactions and relationships impact an individual's development and growth throughout their life.
Each stage builds on the previous one which creates the foundations for growth in the following years.
At each stage, a person experiences internal conflicts, thus creating a turning point in the individual's personality.
The conflicts are based on the understanding that an individual experiences growth or fails to develop these qualities.
In the educational book Key Concepts in Counselling and Psychotherapy: A Critical A-Z Guide to Theory author Vicki Smith gives a clear understanding of how an identity crisis can become a source of power within the individual's psyche: "He (Erikson) believed that we all have identity crises at one time or another in our lives and that these crises do not necessarily represent a negative state but can be a driving force toward positive resolution."
If they integrate the conflicts into their personality, the subsequent growth and development will serve them later in life. If they don't develop these abilities, they are likely to suffer an inhibited sense of self which dominates their life.
Erikson's understanding is that an individual becomes competent when moving through the eight stages and integrates the egoic self into their psyche.
In a similar vein, author Jan Frazier explains in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is the need to transcend the ego by stepping outside the known sense of self: "In order to look at yourself, you have to step outside of it. Look not with the eyes of the ego, but with the eyes of presence."
The Ego Is Not Meant To Dominate Your Life
Many people identify with outer aspects of their life as the basis to their identity.
For example, an individual may believe their role is that of a mother and wife. Yet, if their husband is unfaithful and the marriage dissolves, they will question their identity since they no longer associate with that label.
Similarly, others presume their work, relationships, physical appearance, social and wealth status or performance are measures of their identity.
Regrettably, if these aspects are removed from their life, they experience an identity crisis because they created a persona around them.
I would argue these qualities do not shape your identity but are a vehicle in which to explore your life's narrative.
Your ego is the identity the mind constructs to define itself, yet this is a fictional narrative because external events can disrupt it.
Jan Frazier reaffirms how the roles you play do not construct your identity since there is an underlying presence beneath that: "The roles you play, the features you exhibit, the things you believe in - while they matter very much in the ordinary realm of human discourse - are not what you are. When presence senses itself within you, none of these things have any substance."
Your true identity lies beneath the shadow of the egoic self. An identity crisis is vital to an individual's growth because it allows for chaos and order to reveal one's authentic nature.
An identity crisis can be likened to the shell of an egg breaking open. The shell merely gives form to the ego so it can make sense of its role within society.
The ego is not meant to dominate your life, nor do you wish to banish it. It must be integrated with the authentic self to develop the wholeness of who you are.
Otherwise, the egoic self you once identified with is no longer something you can uphold.
Don't Try To Make Sense Of Chaos
To paint a contrasting view, psychotherapist and meditation teacher Loch Kelly writes in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness how consciousness creates a thinker to uphold the ego, thus forming a mistaken identity in the process: "Afflictive consciousness creates a thinker out of thinking and ego function, and this thought-based sense of self forms the core of mistaken identity. Nothing more than a self-referential loop of thinking about thinking, our mistaken identity is actually a continuous conceptual proliferation that creates solid things out of images and a solid self out of thinking."
What is essential is to unmask the egoic self so the pain, suffering and uncertainty are the underpinnings for future growth and development.
It is like the progress of performance athletes experience when training for the Olympics. They must push to the edge of their limits and discover their potential or risk remaining where they are.
If they push too far too soon, they may invoke physical injury that can sideline them. They may become depressed as a result because their identity is formed around their status of an athlete and performance.
However, from a developmental viewpoint, the experience can be vital to their performance if they can let go of their fixed narrative and former identity.
If you experienced an identity crisis, trust in the deeper psychological lesson guiding your personal development.
Don't try to make sense of the chaos, but surrender to the process, knowing whatever is breaking apart is doing so to make way for the true self to emerge.
To live a remarkable life, you must take consistent action in spite of your fears and doubts. Download a FREE copy of my motivational eBook, NAVIGATE LIFE and embark upon your journey of greatness today!
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9946411
Friday, 12 June 2020
How Complaining Can Make Us Fall Sick
Why do we love to talk about our problems? What do we get out of it? Whenever we catch up with friends over talking inevitably leads to some sort of complaints. It could be about work, our spouse, our children, our community and so on.
The thing is because we are repeating a pattern we do not realise the impact it has on us. For most people, unfortunately, this seems to be a normal habit of conversing.
So why do we feel the need to keep talking about our problems? Here are some probable emotional reasons:
Perhaps we want to feel validated? We want to feel like we mean something to someone. I was observing my daughter and her friends and they were gossiping and complaining about someone else and I realised that it was their way to feel validated. It was their way to feel like they are part of the in-crowd.
Another reason could be, we want to feel right. So by complaining, we are saying that we are right and the other party is wrong. So by complaining, it seems as if we have tipped the scales and somehow in an imaginary way we have become right, even if we were wrong!
Sometimes things do happen in such a way where we are wrongly accused. And the other party is just not listening. So we want to keep talking about it to make ourselves feel right again. In a way, we do it to fight for fairness or fair treatment but then we keep going into the loop of complaining!
Yet another reason why we enjoy complaining is that we are trying to get opinions. Why opinions? Because we are not sure whether the problem is us or the problem is with other people or whether the problem is circumstances. We share to get an opinion and if someone else agrees with us we think 'OK, so I am right, this problem I am having is not really my problem it is their problem'. It is a way to feel 'one up'.
What happens to the one listening to the complainer? For some of us, when we listen to other people's problems we may start to feel drained if we do not know how to draw psychic boundaries. They feel more energised because they are releasing and if full attention is given to them, we are giving even more power to their issues.
If we are an empathetic person, we are in for a lot of energy drainage because we feel like the other person wants so much from us -- they want our opinions, they want us to commit to a side. I'm just imagining some of the empaths now nodding away as you read this.
If we are the complainer when we keep talking about our problems we will only keep building negative energies within. We have these energy centres within our energy body and they are mostly aligned with our Endocrine System. Our Endocrine System is made up of our glands that control our hormones. When I say hormones, we are not just talking about women's hormones or sex hormones. Hormones are chemical substance produced in our bodies and they serve as messengers, controlling and coordinating activities throughout our body. For eg. adrenaline is a hormone and it comes under the control of our nervous system.
We have all experienced this phenomenon of being heartbroken. During this lovesickness, we feel the ache in our chest area, because feeling that way has caused an imbalance in our hormones and our Thymus gland sits right there and the love sickness actually caused us to compromise our immune system. This gland interesting is also known as the love gland!
So I teach my clients this: when you feel emotionally compromised, tap lightly on your chest, which activates your thymus gland. The tapping allows the gland function better and it can also help with your immunity. Just tap lightly up to about eight times, you don't have to thump like a gorilla! (I think gorillas really have the right idea on how to live right) You also do not need a reason to do this, you can do this all the time as a practice to help rebalance your hormones. So I do this all the time, especially when I am waiting in line with nothing to do!
In my next blog post, I will share strategies on how to draw psychic boundaries if you are the listener and what you can do more constructively if you are the complainer.
In the meantime, have a fabulous week tapping your chest away!
My clients call me the chiropractor for the soul because it is what I do best. I align my clients with their body, mind and soul. The end game - to live more purposeful lives. I have a deep love for psychology, all things spiritual and non-religious. Join me and over 250k followers on my Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BeSpiritualandrich and visit my website http://www.ShamalaTan.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Shamala_Tan/291063
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10032506
The thing is because we are repeating a pattern we do not realise the impact it has on us. For most people, unfortunately, this seems to be a normal habit of conversing.
So why do we feel the need to keep talking about our problems? Here are some probable emotional reasons:
Perhaps we want to feel validated? We want to feel like we mean something to someone. I was observing my daughter and her friends and they were gossiping and complaining about someone else and I realised that it was their way to feel validated. It was their way to feel like they are part of the in-crowd.
Another reason could be, we want to feel right. So by complaining, we are saying that we are right and the other party is wrong. So by complaining, it seems as if we have tipped the scales and somehow in an imaginary way we have become right, even if we were wrong!
Sometimes things do happen in such a way where we are wrongly accused. And the other party is just not listening. So we want to keep talking about it to make ourselves feel right again. In a way, we do it to fight for fairness or fair treatment but then we keep going into the loop of complaining!
Yet another reason why we enjoy complaining is that we are trying to get opinions. Why opinions? Because we are not sure whether the problem is us or the problem is with other people or whether the problem is circumstances. We share to get an opinion and if someone else agrees with us we think 'OK, so I am right, this problem I am having is not really my problem it is their problem'. It is a way to feel 'one up'.
What happens to the one listening to the complainer? For some of us, when we listen to other people's problems we may start to feel drained if we do not know how to draw psychic boundaries. They feel more energised because they are releasing and if full attention is given to them, we are giving even more power to their issues.
If we are an empathetic person, we are in for a lot of energy drainage because we feel like the other person wants so much from us -- they want our opinions, they want us to commit to a side. I'm just imagining some of the empaths now nodding away as you read this.
If we are the complainer when we keep talking about our problems we will only keep building negative energies within. We have these energy centres within our energy body and they are mostly aligned with our Endocrine System. Our Endocrine System is made up of our glands that control our hormones. When I say hormones, we are not just talking about women's hormones or sex hormones. Hormones are chemical substance produced in our bodies and they serve as messengers, controlling and coordinating activities throughout our body. For eg. adrenaline is a hormone and it comes under the control of our nervous system.
We have all experienced this phenomenon of being heartbroken. During this lovesickness, we feel the ache in our chest area, because feeling that way has caused an imbalance in our hormones and our Thymus gland sits right there and the love sickness actually caused us to compromise our immune system. This gland interesting is also known as the love gland!
So I teach my clients this: when you feel emotionally compromised, tap lightly on your chest, which activates your thymus gland. The tapping allows the gland function better and it can also help with your immunity. Just tap lightly up to about eight times, you don't have to thump like a gorilla! (I think gorillas really have the right idea on how to live right) You also do not need a reason to do this, you can do this all the time as a practice to help rebalance your hormones. So I do this all the time, especially when I am waiting in line with nothing to do!
In my next blog post, I will share strategies on how to draw psychic boundaries if you are the listener and what you can do more constructively if you are the complainer.
In the meantime, have a fabulous week tapping your chest away!
My clients call me the chiropractor for the soul because it is what I do best. I align my clients with their body, mind and soul. The end game - to live more purposeful lives. I have a deep love for psychology, all things spiritual and non-religious. Join me and over 250k followers on my Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BeSpiritualandrich and visit my website http://www.ShamalaTan.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Shamala_Tan/291063
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10032506
Tuesday, 2 June 2020
Not Me By Alexa Keating
When we continue to accept behaviors and situations that are not aligned with the path we have chosen for our life, we need to ask why. The mere fact that we do not question it is consenting to allowing other people to control our behavior unconsciously.
Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep making excuses for bad behavior or for those who do not follow through on promises or commitments? If we are willing to ask the question, 'why' we move forward in leaps and bounds from an illusion that serves no purpose to us. We move into the presence of reality. Instead of being incapacitated by the unknown, we can move forward in our own planned life journey.
Think about the power of intermittent reinforcement in our emotional lives. This is what gets gamblers and addicts hooked. It is what causes very intelligent people to remain in terrible relationships. If it were always bad, you would leave. It is those intermittent 'good times', and wins or highs for the addict, that keep us hooked and returning for more. But you see how the lives of most gamblers and addicts turn out in the end. It is the same with people in our lives who are a part of unhealthy relationships. The results are rarely worth the price of the ride. And, intermittent is as good as it gets; just enough to keep you coming back for more.
How much of this intermittent reward keeps us hooked to our delusions; forces us back to the denial of the real situation? All of this happens because, for a moment, things were better or good.
The good news is that when we wake up in the dream we call our life journey, we realize we chose those poisonous situations to intensify our need to embrace higher values, a higher perception of how we need to see ourselves. Sometimes we create life situations that are guaranteed to make us crash! A head-on crash, so that we have no choice but to wake the hell up and alter our course.
How powerful denial and delusion can be when we are avoiding the big mirror! What is it that we are so afraid to confront in ourselves? What is that dread we wake up with in the morning when it feels like there is something missing? What is that?
It is probably that our good friends and companions, denial and delusion are not yet awake and in control of our emotions. They act as a drug in and of themselves. We become addicted to them and their calming and soothing effects.
It is a lot like being addicted to a computer game. Your screen, or your life view, will reflect dramatic wins that you may even talk about and enjoy; yet, when you turn off the computer, the game vanishes into thin air, a delusion. It was always in the virtual world; it will never show up to accept responsibility for the actions it pervades. These companions are the proverbial 'Not Me's' in your life. You can't find their miserable backsides when it is time to be accountable for your actions. Just like the virtual games, only you can see the wins.
If you are caught up in playing the victim in your game of life, where are you playing that role? At work, as a parent, in an intimate relationship? It an odd fact that those who appear strong and fearless at work may step into the door of their home and immediately assume the role of an abused victim. Publicly they appear as strong and in control people; privately they are emotionally or physically abused if they are caught in this pattern. How does that happen?
Humans instinctively seek to survive and at some level, live out their life dreams. If you are caught in a web of deception and delusion in a relationship, it is not uncommon for you to shine in your work, or vice versa. This is the soul of the dreamer seeking some method to express the joy they originally planned.
We are all born to win; playing a victim is another expression of unhealthy boundaries we have embraced.
It also provides a way to become 'Not Me' when you can excuse the actions you have taken and the choices you have made by blaming someone else for robbing you of your choices. We are our own bandits and thief's in this scenario.
Behold; the head on collision delivering the results of your wrong actions and bad choices. If you are going to survive the ride on your life journey, something has to wake you up so you can navigate the trip successfully.
Imagine that you have chosen a destination and get into your car, buckle the seat belt, start the engine and then proceed to look through the rear view mirror to arrive at your desired destination. You are looking for direction in the mirror that provides the least amount of valuable information, rather than choosing to look through the large expansive windshield that is before you. When you continue the same methods that allowed you to arrive at your current destination, it provides the same effect as navigating through the rear view mirror.
If you have a sense of dread about something it is time to honestly examine where the great sense of power originated that became attached to the thing you dread most. What are you running from? What do you dread and why? How can you disarm this opponent? Can you make a different choice, choose a better path; are you captive because you fear the change? A sense of dread forces you to play the victim's role, a powerless position to assume.
What are you the most disillusioned about in your life? Have you identified the actual issue that is so disillusioning to you? Did you play a part in creating this issue? Are you willing to stop playing that role if you are a part of it?
You cannot win this battle until you are able to be honest with yourself about what it is. Then examine how it became reality; once you have done this, you are in a position to go to battle and win this one in your life.
We all have an addiction to something. If you are in the throes of an unhealthy one, trade it for something that is good for you; good for your path and your life journey. Then stop being a party to continuing the old addiction.
These are simple words that require a deep commitment to change if you want to honestly effect a change. You cannot 'go along to get along' and imagine that things have changed.
Alexa Keating is a healing and transformative writer with 32 published books and 500 + articles available on Ezine articles.
The most important writing goal for me is that my words be healing, transformative, informative and humorous whenever possible; laughter lifts the soul! For more information please join me on my web site at http://www.arkconnect.com. I appreciate every person who takes the time to peruse, read and share my work with me.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Alexa_Keating/1883665
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10288639
Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep making excuses for bad behavior or for those who do not follow through on promises or commitments? If we are willing to ask the question, 'why' we move forward in leaps and bounds from an illusion that serves no purpose to us. We move into the presence of reality. Instead of being incapacitated by the unknown, we can move forward in our own planned life journey.
Think about the power of intermittent reinforcement in our emotional lives. This is what gets gamblers and addicts hooked. It is what causes very intelligent people to remain in terrible relationships. If it were always bad, you would leave. It is those intermittent 'good times', and wins or highs for the addict, that keep us hooked and returning for more. But you see how the lives of most gamblers and addicts turn out in the end. It is the same with people in our lives who are a part of unhealthy relationships. The results are rarely worth the price of the ride. And, intermittent is as good as it gets; just enough to keep you coming back for more.
How much of this intermittent reward keeps us hooked to our delusions; forces us back to the denial of the real situation? All of this happens because, for a moment, things were better or good.
The good news is that when we wake up in the dream we call our life journey, we realize we chose those poisonous situations to intensify our need to embrace higher values, a higher perception of how we need to see ourselves. Sometimes we create life situations that are guaranteed to make us crash! A head-on crash, so that we have no choice but to wake the hell up and alter our course.
How powerful denial and delusion can be when we are avoiding the big mirror! What is it that we are so afraid to confront in ourselves? What is that dread we wake up with in the morning when it feels like there is something missing? What is that?
It is probably that our good friends and companions, denial and delusion are not yet awake and in control of our emotions. They act as a drug in and of themselves. We become addicted to them and their calming and soothing effects.
It is a lot like being addicted to a computer game. Your screen, or your life view, will reflect dramatic wins that you may even talk about and enjoy; yet, when you turn off the computer, the game vanishes into thin air, a delusion. It was always in the virtual world; it will never show up to accept responsibility for the actions it pervades. These companions are the proverbial 'Not Me's' in your life. You can't find their miserable backsides when it is time to be accountable for your actions. Just like the virtual games, only you can see the wins.
If you are caught up in playing the victim in your game of life, where are you playing that role? At work, as a parent, in an intimate relationship? It an odd fact that those who appear strong and fearless at work may step into the door of their home and immediately assume the role of an abused victim. Publicly they appear as strong and in control people; privately they are emotionally or physically abused if they are caught in this pattern. How does that happen?
Humans instinctively seek to survive and at some level, live out their life dreams. If you are caught in a web of deception and delusion in a relationship, it is not uncommon for you to shine in your work, or vice versa. This is the soul of the dreamer seeking some method to express the joy they originally planned.
We are all born to win; playing a victim is another expression of unhealthy boundaries we have embraced.
It also provides a way to become 'Not Me' when you can excuse the actions you have taken and the choices you have made by blaming someone else for robbing you of your choices. We are our own bandits and thief's in this scenario.
Behold; the head on collision delivering the results of your wrong actions and bad choices. If you are going to survive the ride on your life journey, something has to wake you up so you can navigate the trip successfully.
Imagine that you have chosen a destination and get into your car, buckle the seat belt, start the engine and then proceed to look through the rear view mirror to arrive at your desired destination. You are looking for direction in the mirror that provides the least amount of valuable information, rather than choosing to look through the large expansive windshield that is before you. When you continue the same methods that allowed you to arrive at your current destination, it provides the same effect as navigating through the rear view mirror.
If you have a sense of dread about something it is time to honestly examine where the great sense of power originated that became attached to the thing you dread most. What are you running from? What do you dread and why? How can you disarm this opponent? Can you make a different choice, choose a better path; are you captive because you fear the change? A sense of dread forces you to play the victim's role, a powerless position to assume.
What are you the most disillusioned about in your life? Have you identified the actual issue that is so disillusioning to you? Did you play a part in creating this issue? Are you willing to stop playing that role if you are a part of it?
You cannot win this battle until you are able to be honest with yourself about what it is. Then examine how it became reality; once you have done this, you are in a position to go to battle and win this one in your life.
We all have an addiction to something. If you are in the throes of an unhealthy one, trade it for something that is good for you; good for your path and your life journey. Then stop being a party to continuing the old addiction.
These are simple words that require a deep commitment to change if you want to honestly effect a change. You cannot 'go along to get along' and imagine that things have changed.
Alexa Keating is a healing and transformative writer with 32 published books and 500 + articles available on Ezine articles.
The most important writing goal for me is that my words be healing, transformative, informative and humorous whenever possible; laughter lifts the soul! For more information please join me on my web site at http://www.arkconnect.com. I appreciate every person who takes the time to peruse, read and share my work with me.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Alexa_Keating/1883665
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10288639
Thursday, 28 May 2020
Saturday, 23 May 2020
Are You Thinking Ahead to Post-Corona Life?
Many of you focus on how to survive the next few months.
I'm not knocking it - this is a crazy time, so it pays to have a strategy.
Having said that...
Are you thinking about what comes next?
For when the world returns to more-or-less normal?
Because it will return. With every crisis, folk said it would change everything forever. But let's not exaggerate it. 9/11 changed the world... and even so, things mostly returned to normal. Same again with 2008 and (for some Americans) Trump's election and a dozen other catastrophes.
The 'new normal' is always closer to the old normal than it might seem.
This pandemic is no different. It will break because pandemics always do. The first-hit countries are already bouncing back - the rest of us have to wait it out. I doubt the coronavirus will ever disappear, but it won't dominate forever. It can't.
I'm sure the smart entrepreneurs and executives are thinking ahead to when crowds become a thing again.
How about you?
When I say things will return to normal, I'm talking on average. For some folk, this experience will break them. They'll get used to isolation and keep up that habit, long into the future.
Why go out to restaurants, when junk food can arrive at your door?
What's the point of playing board games, after a few months of bingeing on video games?
Who cares about cinemas when the internet is right here?
Some folk will spend the rest of their lives exercising less, getting less fresh air and sun, and refusing physical contact at all costs.
The rest of you?
You're thinking of all the things you took for granted - even something as small as going to a restaurant with friends.
You're going to travel more and explore more.
Social distancing can't end soon enough, and when it does you're going to shake every hand. Maybe even hug more. Why not?
You're going to get out into nature, exercise more, have healthier hobbies and embrace every moment.
Maybe you'll even quit that job you hate (because look what getting locked in a box with recycled air got you?) or at least use this to work more flexibly.
I'm lucky enough to have money coming in still, so I'm saving money for some training and travel. You better believe I'm watching the number of active cases in each country, looking forward to the day we're all free again.
That day will come slower if you languish.
If you atrophy on the couch.
If you invest in yourself, though?
In your mind, your body, your emotions and your finances?
You'll be out the door and in the sunshine while everyone else is rubbing the sleep from their eyes.
Want to get started?
Listen to the free mind training available on my site. You can begin immediately, once you sign up to my daily email newsletter.
Here's the link:
https://guided-thought.com/daily-email/
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10269835
I'm not knocking it - this is a crazy time, so it pays to have a strategy.
Having said that...
Are you thinking about what comes next?
For when the world returns to more-or-less normal?
Because it will return. With every crisis, folk said it would change everything forever. But let's not exaggerate it. 9/11 changed the world... and even so, things mostly returned to normal. Same again with 2008 and (for some Americans) Trump's election and a dozen other catastrophes.
The 'new normal' is always closer to the old normal than it might seem.
This pandemic is no different. It will break because pandemics always do. The first-hit countries are already bouncing back - the rest of us have to wait it out. I doubt the coronavirus will ever disappear, but it won't dominate forever. It can't.
I'm sure the smart entrepreneurs and executives are thinking ahead to when crowds become a thing again.
How about you?
When I say things will return to normal, I'm talking on average. For some folk, this experience will break them. They'll get used to isolation and keep up that habit, long into the future.
Why go out to restaurants, when junk food can arrive at your door?
What's the point of playing board games, after a few months of bingeing on video games?
Who cares about cinemas when the internet is right here?
Some folk will spend the rest of their lives exercising less, getting less fresh air and sun, and refusing physical contact at all costs.
The rest of you?
You're thinking of all the things you took for granted - even something as small as going to a restaurant with friends.
You're going to travel more and explore more.
Social distancing can't end soon enough, and when it does you're going to shake every hand. Maybe even hug more. Why not?
You're going to get out into nature, exercise more, have healthier hobbies and embrace every moment.
Maybe you'll even quit that job you hate (because look what getting locked in a box with recycled air got you?) or at least use this to work more flexibly.
I'm lucky enough to have money coming in still, so I'm saving money for some training and travel. You better believe I'm watching the number of active cases in each country, looking forward to the day we're all free again.
That day will come slower if you languish.
If you atrophy on the couch.
If you invest in yourself, though?
In your mind, your body, your emotions and your finances?
You'll be out the door and in the sunshine while everyone else is rubbing the sleep from their eyes.
Want to get started?
Listen to the free mind training available on my site. You can begin immediately, once you sign up to my daily email newsletter.
Here's the link:
https://guided-thought.com/daily-email/
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/William_T_Batten/2522089
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10269835
Thursday, 21 May 2020
10 Ways to Get Back to Your Reading Habit
By Mitul Patel
We have published an article about how to read more books. Now this post is for those who used to read in past and now stopped it for some reasons. Recently a friend asked how he could start reading habit. When I asked him what kinds of books he liked to read, his answer surprised me that he couldn't remember the last time he had read an entire book but he read a lot of news and stuffs online. Another friend admitted her own difficulties with reading as much as she used to, especially fiction. According to her there is enough drama going on around the world, so she didn't feel to read fictionalized drama.
There was one who said he 'prefer to experience real life rather than reading about it in books.' As for this kind of people who think their lives are more interesting and so diverse to give them all the wisdom and emotional skills to direct them through our increasingly complex societies, then I cannot shatter their sweet illusion. So here I want to address those who really want to read but somehow they can't.
There is a difference in reading online news and articles and reading a book. I mean the long-form (books or novels) and shorter pieces (online news and articles). Our cognitive processes are such that we read quicker and with less comprehension and retention when scrolling through short online articles, blogs, and news and clicking on link after link. Though I also read a lot online (news, book reviews, author interviews, etc.), books remains my primary source of knowledge and thoughts. Reading is not only about improving quality of our lives but also the quality of the attention we pay to the things and people in our daily lives. It changes our ways of engaging with the people and being in the world.
Here I'm suggesting some approaches to rekindle and cultivate the habit of reading. It's better to find a way for a regular reading practice organically rather than forcing yourself to read.
Move to Books from Online Articles
If you enjoy reading online about some specific topics, look for the best books published on those topics online or at your local library or bookstore. Don't forget to check the writer's name of that article you liked reading online as they might have books published too. You will get a deeper and more considered dive into those topics in book-length works. Also ask booksellers and librarian about the book on that topic you liked as they truly enjoy engaging with readers and recommend specific kinds of books. If you're living where there is no library or a bookstore nearby, you can join online library and download books on an electronic device.
Move to Books from Movies
If you enjoy movies, look for those adapted from a book and then read that book. If possible (I insist) don't watch movie before you read the book. By a little search in Google, You can find the movies based on books which are already released or will release in near future. Once you are done with that book, try to watch movie adaptation, and you'll realize what you were missing while watching only movie and not reading book.
Read Literature on Travelling
If travelling is your thing, look for books written about or around the next place you are planning to visit. Read those books before, during, and after your trip. It will make the whole travelling experience richer and more satisfying. Often, travel books are about going down the beaten path and it not only enlighten but also encourage us to wander the unknown places.
Read Short Stories
If book-length fiction is frightening you, then pick a short story book. You can usually finish them in a single sitting but they can stimulate your appetite for longer book-length fiction works. There are so many wonderful short stories available online. These short stories can leverage your regular reading habit.
Read with friends
If you can't read alone or need company while reading, Join or start a book club. I personally prefer reading alone but I enjoy those odd book discussions with readers in Book clubs. If you can't find book club nearby you, you can find it online. I love to discuss the books online with the readers from across the world. It fascinates me how differently we all interpret the same book and I always learn something new. Another way is find a friend who likes to read, and ask him (or make him) to read the same book you want to read or read the same book he is reading and then discuss chapter by chapter. This will make you understand and enjoy the book at another level.
Buy an e-Reader
If you are strapped for time, invest in an e-reader or a good audiobook membership. Then you can read while waiting in the grocery checkout line, during daily commutes, or while doing daily chores. You will be amazed to know that you have this much time for reading which was wasted. So recuperate some of this time and use it in reading.
Start a Journal
Begin to write a books journal daily where you write about whatever you've read that day. This will help you to form your thoughts and reflections on the topics and themes you've read about, which is the whole point of reading after all. Write in a private journal or in an online blog, whichever suits you.
Set Reading Goals
If goal achievements and quantified self-hood drives you, then sign up on a website like Goodreads or LibraryThing to log every book you read by date, you can also add rating based on how much liked that book. I use one of these sites to keep track of my personal library and to read list. Set daily goals for reading. Achieving these goals will encourage you to set bigger reading goals and achieve them.
Listen to Book Podcasts
Listen to some good book related podcasts, where they invite authors and discuss their books. I have, many times, bought a certain book after hearing its writer speak about it. There are many podcasts you can choose from. For short stories I like The New Yorker Fiction, The New Yorker Writer's Voice and NPR's Selected Shorts. And for authors' interviews, I prefer BBC World Book Club, CBC's Writers and Company, BBC Radio 4 Bookclub and The Guardian Books.
Attend the Literary events or Festivals
If there are any book related literary festivals near you, try to go there at least once a year. Every year we have a book fair and literature festival for a week, I never missed this event. I can't go there for whole week but I find time on weekend. Celebrating books with other readers is an exceptional delight.
Bonus Tips
Mix up your reading list with different genres and topics. There are many book recommendation websites out there and ours is one of them. Subscribe us for getting regular book recommendation and get yourself a book interests you most. You can read one book at a time or can pick multiple books from different genres and read few pages or chapters from each book every day. Do not try to keep reading the book you have lost interest in. It will kill your enthusiasm and passion for reading. There are so many books out there on every imaginable topics and themes, so drop that book and pick another one.
Reading book is a personal investment that will pay off in long run. The Best books go beyond the education, entertainment, and altering perspectives. It helps us to develop and strengthen our cognitive and emotional muscles to deal better with whatever comes on our way.
This article was published on https://www.bookishelf.com The Bookish Elf is all about the passion for books and reading, knowledge and perception. We are a small group of readers who want the world to know what we read and what they should read.
We'll love to hear pieces of advice, appreciation or criticism. You can send us all your queries and suggestions by filling the form on the Contact us page or mailing us on: contact@bookishelf.com. We'll be grateful for each word of feedback received from you.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Mitul_Patel/2563463
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9965069
We have published an article about how to read more books. Now this post is for those who used to read in past and now stopped it for some reasons. Recently a friend asked how he could start reading habit. When I asked him what kinds of books he liked to read, his answer surprised me that he couldn't remember the last time he had read an entire book but he read a lot of news and stuffs online. Another friend admitted her own difficulties with reading as much as she used to, especially fiction. According to her there is enough drama going on around the world, so she didn't feel to read fictionalized drama.
There was one who said he 'prefer to experience real life rather than reading about it in books.' As for this kind of people who think their lives are more interesting and so diverse to give them all the wisdom and emotional skills to direct them through our increasingly complex societies, then I cannot shatter their sweet illusion. So here I want to address those who really want to read but somehow they can't.
There is a difference in reading online news and articles and reading a book. I mean the long-form (books or novels) and shorter pieces (online news and articles). Our cognitive processes are such that we read quicker and with less comprehension and retention when scrolling through short online articles, blogs, and news and clicking on link after link. Though I also read a lot online (news, book reviews, author interviews, etc.), books remains my primary source of knowledge and thoughts. Reading is not only about improving quality of our lives but also the quality of the attention we pay to the things and people in our daily lives. It changes our ways of engaging with the people and being in the world.
Here I'm suggesting some approaches to rekindle and cultivate the habit of reading. It's better to find a way for a regular reading practice organically rather than forcing yourself to read.
Move to Books from Online Articles
If you enjoy reading online about some specific topics, look for the best books published on those topics online or at your local library or bookstore. Don't forget to check the writer's name of that article you liked reading online as they might have books published too. You will get a deeper and more considered dive into those topics in book-length works. Also ask booksellers and librarian about the book on that topic you liked as they truly enjoy engaging with readers and recommend specific kinds of books. If you're living where there is no library or a bookstore nearby, you can join online library and download books on an electronic device.
Move to Books from Movies
If you enjoy movies, look for those adapted from a book and then read that book. If possible (I insist) don't watch movie before you read the book. By a little search in Google, You can find the movies based on books which are already released or will release in near future. Once you are done with that book, try to watch movie adaptation, and you'll realize what you were missing while watching only movie and not reading book.
Read Literature on Travelling
If travelling is your thing, look for books written about or around the next place you are planning to visit. Read those books before, during, and after your trip. It will make the whole travelling experience richer and more satisfying. Often, travel books are about going down the beaten path and it not only enlighten but also encourage us to wander the unknown places.
Read Short Stories
If book-length fiction is frightening you, then pick a short story book. You can usually finish them in a single sitting but they can stimulate your appetite for longer book-length fiction works. There are so many wonderful short stories available online. These short stories can leverage your regular reading habit.
Read with friends
If you can't read alone or need company while reading, Join or start a book club. I personally prefer reading alone but I enjoy those odd book discussions with readers in Book clubs. If you can't find book club nearby you, you can find it online. I love to discuss the books online with the readers from across the world. It fascinates me how differently we all interpret the same book and I always learn something new. Another way is find a friend who likes to read, and ask him (or make him) to read the same book you want to read or read the same book he is reading and then discuss chapter by chapter. This will make you understand and enjoy the book at another level.
Buy an e-Reader
If you are strapped for time, invest in an e-reader or a good audiobook membership. Then you can read while waiting in the grocery checkout line, during daily commutes, or while doing daily chores. You will be amazed to know that you have this much time for reading which was wasted. So recuperate some of this time and use it in reading.
Start a Journal
Begin to write a books journal daily where you write about whatever you've read that day. This will help you to form your thoughts and reflections on the topics and themes you've read about, which is the whole point of reading after all. Write in a private journal or in an online blog, whichever suits you.
Set Reading Goals
If goal achievements and quantified self-hood drives you, then sign up on a website like Goodreads or LibraryThing to log every book you read by date, you can also add rating based on how much liked that book. I use one of these sites to keep track of my personal library and to read list. Set daily goals for reading. Achieving these goals will encourage you to set bigger reading goals and achieve them.
Listen to Book Podcasts
Listen to some good book related podcasts, where they invite authors and discuss their books. I have, many times, bought a certain book after hearing its writer speak about it. There are many podcasts you can choose from. For short stories I like The New Yorker Fiction, The New Yorker Writer's Voice and NPR's Selected Shorts. And for authors' interviews, I prefer BBC World Book Club, CBC's Writers and Company, BBC Radio 4 Bookclub and The Guardian Books.
Attend the Literary events or Festivals
If there are any book related literary festivals near you, try to go there at least once a year. Every year we have a book fair and literature festival for a week, I never missed this event. I can't go there for whole week but I find time on weekend. Celebrating books with other readers is an exceptional delight.
Bonus Tips
Mix up your reading list with different genres and topics. There are many book recommendation websites out there and ours is one of them. Subscribe us for getting regular book recommendation and get yourself a book interests you most. You can read one book at a time or can pick multiple books from different genres and read few pages or chapters from each book every day. Do not try to keep reading the book you have lost interest in. It will kill your enthusiasm and passion for reading. There are so many books out there on every imaginable topics and themes, so drop that book and pick another one.
Reading book is a personal investment that will pay off in long run. The Best books go beyond the education, entertainment, and altering perspectives. It helps us to develop and strengthen our cognitive and emotional muscles to deal better with whatever comes on our way.
This article was published on https://www.bookishelf.com The Bookish Elf is all about the passion for books and reading, knowledge and perception. We are a small group of readers who want the world to know what we read and what they should read.
We'll love to hear pieces of advice, appreciation or criticism. You can send us all your queries and suggestions by filling the form on the Contact us page or mailing us on: contact@bookishelf.com. We'll be grateful for each word of feedback received from you.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Mitul_Patel/2563463
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9965069
Wednesday, 20 May 2020
Top Tips to Manage Your Time in Social Isolation
We're living in unprecedented times. From our health, income, education, ability to travel, no one has been exempt from the impact of this global pandemic. So excuse yourself if you have an occasional melt down. It's understandable under the circumstances. We don't know how long it will last, what the outcome will be. All we can manage is how we react and learn to take each day as it comes.
Practise daily gratitude. A positive, thankful approach is the key to improving unfortunate circumstances. Start each day by being thankful; for waking up, for having a roof over your head, running water, electricity, your health, your family and friends. Times like this often bring out the best in people, so be thankful for the people who check to ask if you're okay, the opportunities you have to walk each day, to slow right down, spend time with your family. Okay, this situation is tough, but you can improve it by appreciating the good in your life.
Take care of yourself. That way others don't have to worry about you and you're in a better position to take care of those who need your attention. Self-care requires both mental and physical stimulus, so reading, games, work, study and physical exercise are an important part of your commitment to yourself. Getting enough sleep and not staying up all hours or over-sleeping are also important.
Explore available options. Might this be a good opportunity to learn another language, refresh an existing skill, diversify? If you've free time you could turn it to your advantage by investigating and even training in a new interest or skill.
Help others. Those little gestures, the phone call, bunch of flowers on the doorstep, the 'thinking of you' greeting card can make all the difference to someone's day. And when you shop for essentials or go online for support remember your local small traders are relying on your custom to survive.
Keep to a regular routine. It's tough when your normal life has been thrown into disarray and added unexpected worries and concerns. But it helps when you re-establish some order in your life. Get up at the same time, shower, put fresh clothes on, designate certain times for work. Some people even have their children wear their school uniforms, which helps them appreciate that this is not an extended school holiday and that they have to do some actual school work!
Don't allow the children to dominate your life and run you ragged. Start as you mean to go on and introduce one of the great online exercise classes to burn off some energy, but also have quiet time too where they read, paint, do some chores or crafts and give you a little space.
Stay hydrated and eat healthily. Keeping your fluid intake up is important. Virus's thrive in your mouth and throat so drinking hot/warm water regularly, perhaps adding fresh lemon, ginger and honey, can help to keep your airways clear. Maintain a good diet, including fresh fruit and vegetables. The supermarkets are doing a sterling job of frequently restocking.
And manage your alcohol intake. When we're feeling fed up it's tempting to go down the wine'o'clock route, but it doesn't help and you'll feel worse afterwards, as you will if you stock up on treats like cakes, biscuits and chocolates and then binge eat the lot in an afternoon!
Manage your time on social media and the news sites. There's plenty of fake news, naysayers and doom merchants out there, feeding us gloomy prophecies, images and statistics. Yes, check in once or twice a day but don't allow depressing information to be drip-fed into your home and life on a regular basis. Remember, you're in control!
Stay connected. There are plenty of groups using skype, zoom, what's app, Facebook to stay connected and be supportive of each other. Keep in touch with the people who are important in your life. Many businesses are finding effective, alternative ways to contact their clients and hold meetings, run training sessions and still work.
If you've a partner give each other space. It can be challenging to spend 24/7 in each other's company, especially if you've only ever done that on holidays or at Christmas. Post-holiday and post-Christmas anyway are the busiest times for divorce lawyers! So if you don't want to fall into that category ensure that you agree to not do everything together. Maybe one shops for food, walks the dog, works in the study, goes for a quiet read, potters in the garden, has a leisurely bath. Make allowances for each other's low mood at times. Give each other personal time.
Stay positive. A good perspective and sense of humour are lifesavers, especially at the moment. Social media, used well, can help lighten the mood. When you dip in and see the fun, imaginative ways people respond to daily themes or news stories it can brighten the day. Or laughing at some of your unfortunate attempts at baking, DIY or making something work can keep a pleasant light-hearted atmosphere.
If you find you're struggling maybe keep a journal and write down how you're feeling. It can help to get things down on paper, and writing is more effective than using your laptop. Avoid running 'what-if' and worst case scenarios in your mind. Intercept those by distracting yourself; move, dance, sing, phone a positive friend for an upbeat chat. Aim to accomplish one positive task each day, from tidying your sock drawer, cleaning the windows or even sorting your emails. Then you have a regular achievement to feel good about.
We're all trying our best to get through these exceptional times. Let's support each other and do it together.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10276132
Practise daily gratitude. A positive, thankful approach is the key to improving unfortunate circumstances. Start each day by being thankful; for waking up, for having a roof over your head, running water, electricity, your health, your family and friends. Times like this often bring out the best in people, so be thankful for the people who check to ask if you're okay, the opportunities you have to walk each day, to slow right down, spend time with your family. Okay, this situation is tough, but you can improve it by appreciating the good in your life.
Take care of yourself. That way others don't have to worry about you and you're in a better position to take care of those who need your attention. Self-care requires both mental and physical stimulus, so reading, games, work, study and physical exercise are an important part of your commitment to yourself. Getting enough sleep and not staying up all hours or over-sleeping are also important.
Explore available options. Might this be a good opportunity to learn another language, refresh an existing skill, diversify? If you've free time you could turn it to your advantage by investigating and even training in a new interest or skill.
Help others. Those little gestures, the phone call, bunch of flowers on the doorstep, the 'thinking of you' greeting card can make all the difference to someone's day. And when you shop for essentials or go online for support remember your local small traders are relying on your custom to survive.
Keep to a regular routine. It's tough when your normal life has been thrown into disarray and added unexpected worries and concerns. But it helps when you re-establish some order in your life. Get up at the same time, shower, put fresh clothes on, designate certain times for work. Some people even have their children wear their school uniforms, which helps them appreciate that this is not an extended school holiday and that they have to do some actual school work!
Don't allow the children to dominate your life and run you ragged. Start as you mean to go on and introduce one of the great online exercise classes to burn off some energy, but also have quiet time too where they read, paint, do some chores or crafts and give you a little space.
Stay hydrated and eat healthily. Keeping your fluid intake up is important. Virus's thrive in your mouth and throat so drinking hot/warm water regularly, perhaps adding fresh lemon, ginger and honey, can help to keep your airways clear. Maintain a good diet, including fresh fruit and vegetables. The supermarkets are doing a sterling job of frequently restocking.
And manage your alcohol intake. When we're feeling fed up it's tempting to go down the wine'o'clock route, but it doesn't help and you'll feel worse afterwards, as you will if you stock up on treats like cakes, biscuits and chocolates and then binge eat the lot in an afternoon!
Manage your time on social media and the news sites. There's plenty of fake news, naysayers and doom merchants out there, feeding us gloomy prophecies, images and statistics. Yes, check in once or twice a day but don't allow depressing information to be drip-fed into your home and life on a regular basis. Remember, you're in control!
Stay connected. There are plenty of groups using skype, zoom, what's app, Facebook to stay connected and be supportive of each other. Keep in touch with the people who are important in your life. Many businesses are finding effective, alternative ways to contact their clients and hold meetings, run training sessions and still work.
If you've a partner give each other space. It can be challenging to spend 24/7 in each other's company, especially if you've only ever done that on holidays or at Christmas. Post-holiday and post-Christmas anyway are the busiest times for divorce lawyers! So if you don't want to fall into that category ensure that you agree to not do everything together. Maybe one shops for food, walks the dog, works in the study, goes for a quiet read, potters in the garden, has a leisurely bath. Make allowances for each other's low mood at times. Give each other personal time.
Stay positive. A good perspective and sense of humour are lifesavers, especially at the moment. Social media, used well, can help lighten the mood. When you dip in and see the fun, imaginative ways people respond to daily themes or news stories it can brighten the day. Or laughing at some of your unfortunate attempts at baking, DIY or making something work can keep a pleasant light-hearted atmosphere.
If you find you're struggling maybe keep a journal and write down how you're feeling. It can help to get things down on paper, and writing is more effective than using your laptop. Avoid running 'what-if' and worst case scenarios in your mind. Intercept those by distracting yourself; move, dance, sing, phone a positive friend for an upbeat chat. Aim to accomplish one positive task each day, from tidying your sock drawer, cleaning the windows or even sorting your emails. Then you have a regular achievement to feel good about.
We're all trying our best to get through these exceptional times. Let's support each other and do it together.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10276132
Saturday, 16 May 2020
The High Cost of Doing Nothing
By: Daniel Sitter
Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.
Many of us freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away..
What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.
Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to improve. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.
Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.
Author Bio
Daniel Sitter is the author of the popular, award-winning e-book, Learning For Profit. Designed for busy people, his new book teaches simple, step-by-step accelerated learning skills, demonstrating exactly how to learn anything faster than ever before. Learning For Profit is currently available from the author's web site www.learningforprofit.com and a variety of online software and book merchants. Mr. Sitter is a contributing writer for several online and traditional publications. His expertise includes sales, marketing, self-improvement and general business topics.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.
Many of us freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away..
What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.
Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to improve. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.
Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.
Author Bio
Daniel Sitter is the author of the popular, award-winning e-book, Learning For Profit. Designed for busy people, his new book teaches simple, step-by-step accelerated learning skills, demonstrating exactly how to learn anything faster than ever before. Learning For Profit is currently available from the author's web site www.learningforprofit.com and a variety of online software and book merchants. Mr. Sitter is a contributing writer for several online and traditional publications. His expertise includes sales, marketing, self-improvement and general business topics.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
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