Showing posts with label overcome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overcome. Show all posts
Saturday, 27 June 2020
Thursday, 25 June 2020
Wednesday, 24 June 2020
Stresspensation: Evaluating the Impact of Stress in Career Decision Making
Brad was an incredibly bright young executive with a very promising future. Ever since graduating college, he seemed to take on increased responsibilities in his company like a duck to water. He married his college sweetheart, Nancy, right after graduation and has two small children. Brad's talent didn't go unnoticed in the industry, with several competitors approaching Brad about his willingness to join another firm. He steadfastly resisted, that is until the offer of all offers came his way.
ACME Corp, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits. The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money. Brad joyfully accepted ACME's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.
Within a year of joining ACME, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position. He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night. He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids. He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule. He began putting on weight. Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy. The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.
While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress. The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs. Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain. In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure. In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives. This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way. Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it.
To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:
(a) Relationship Stress
(b) Work Stress
(c) Personal Stress
For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:
1 - Minimal Stress
2 - Moderate Stress
3 - Significant Stress
In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type. Let's put this to an example.
Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year. On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:
Current Position
Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines
New Position
Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers
Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club
Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management
When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:
Stress Type Current Position New Position Increase/Decrease
Relationship 2 3 Increase
Personal 1 2 Increase
Work 2 3 Increase
Ann is now faced with the following decision: Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure? Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no. Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.
There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology:
First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant. The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.
Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels. "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.
Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them. The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way. Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.
Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions. Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.
Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.
Your Go-Dos
When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:
Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job. Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective.
Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals. Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types.
Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.
Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices. Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love.
Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lonnie_Pacelli/16297
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9359733
ACME Corp, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits. The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money. Brad joyfully accepted ACME's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.
Within a year of joining ACME, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position. He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night. He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids. He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule. He began putting on weight. Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy. The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.
While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress. The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs. Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain. In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure. In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives. This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way. Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it.
To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:
(a) Relationship Stress
(b) Work Stress
(c) Personal Stress
For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:
1 - Minimal Stress
2 - Moderate Stress
3 - Significant Stress
In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type. Let's put this to an example.
Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year. On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:
Current Position
Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines
New Position
Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers
Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club
Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management
When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:
Stress Type Current Position New Position Increase/Decrease
Relationship 2 3 Increase
Personal 1 2 Increase
Work 2 3 Increase
Ann is now faced with the following decision: Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure? Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no. Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.
There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology:
First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant. The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.
Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels. "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.
Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them. The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way. Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.
Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions. Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.
Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.
Your Go-Dos
When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:
Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job. Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective.
Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals. Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types.
Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.
Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices. Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love.
Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lonnie_Pacelli/16297
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9359733
Tuesday, 23 June 2020
How to Channel Anger Within & Be Massively Productive
Anger, desire for revenge and rage are very strong emotions. These emotions, if used for bad, can do harm and cause damage in your life on a multitude of levels. After all, "holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" (Buddha). However, since these emotions are so powerful and full of energy, if channeled toward goals, dreams and the greater good, can soar you toward success.
Here Are 3 Ways to Take Your Anger Within & Be Massively Productive
Refocus Back To you
When we are raging mad at someone who hurt us, we spend our days and nights ruminating on that person and everything they did to hurt us. The focus is on them. Instead, shift the focus back to you. Take a step back and think about what you want out of your life. Set goals for yourself and begin taking steps to achieve those goals right away, today. The motivation and energy you can muster up in a body full of adrenaline can be intense and can propel you forward. Forget baby steps, this anger channeled toward being productive instead of vengeful can send you leaping toward your goals.
Get Physical
Now, more than ever, is a time where you need to feel sexy, handsome, beautiful and full of life. Nothing can make you feel as confident in your own skin like physical activity. Exercise allows you to minimize negative emotions and release endorphins (those feel-good neurotransmitters). Take the power of anger to run faster and lift more weight. As you work out, imagine your body transforming into what you want it to become. Exercise can also reduce stress, so that when you leave the gym, you are more mentally clear to make strong, solid decisions in a time that might be chaotic and upsetting.
Learn More About Yourself
During a time of anger and rage a man/woman shows their true character. It is how you handle these strong emotions that shows your true colors and level of integrity. It is okay to be angry, it is a normal emotion but the key is how you release that emotion and what you can take from a trying time in life. To really gain self-awareness, journal. You can say all those nasty things you want to say, in your journal. In your journal, you can voice all your concerns and even how pains in your past might be coming out now in your adult years. Write about your emotions, decisions and thoughts. Writing things out does two things at the very least. First, it allows you to vent and get emotions out safely. This can help minimize nightmares and panic attacks that can stem from a buildup of emotions. Second, it allows you to note patterns of thoughts and behaviors. Eventually, this pain and these emotions will pass. You can then look back at your writings and note patterns and better understand what led you to certain emotions, actions and reactions. You can use your past journal entries as a tool to help you be more self-aware in the present and to help you react differently moving forward.
Dr. Jaime is your go to life coach who will hold you accountable and push you to succeed. She is the host of The Dr. Jaime Show and author of The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment which is published in over 10 countries over 4 continents. Dr. Jaime is a motivational speaker and the go to keynote for companies. She has been featured nationally, both on TV and other major media outlets, for her expertise in work life balance & goal setting. Find out more about Dr Jaime at http://www.drjaimek.com Subscribe to The Dr Jaime Show on all your favorite podcast apps.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Jaime_Kulaga/1038479
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9944851
Here Are 3 Ways to Take Your Anger Within & Be Massively Productive
Refocus Back To you
When we are raging mad at someone who hurt us, we spend our days and nights ruminating on that person and everything they did to hurt us. The focus is on them. Instead, shift the focus back to you. Take a step back and think about what you want out of your life. Set goals for yourself and begin taking steps to achieve those goals right away, today. The motivation and energy you can muster up in a body full of adrenaline can be intense and can propel you forward. Forget baby steps, this anger channeled toward being productive instead of vengeful can send you leaping toward your goals.
Get Physical
Now, more than ever, is a time where you need to feel sexy, handsome, beautiful and full of life. Nothing can make you feel as confident in your own skin like physical activity. Exercise allows you to minimize negative emotions and release endorphins (those feel-good neurotransmitters). Take the power of anger to run faster and lift more weight. As you work out, imagine your body transforming into what you want it to become. Exercise can also reduce stress, so that when you leave the gym, you are more mentally clear to make strong, solid decisions in a time that might be chaotic and upsetting.
Learn More About Yourself
During a time of anger and rage a man/woman shows their true character. It is how you handle these strong emotions that shows your true colors and level of integrity. It is okay to be angry, it is a normal emotion but the key is how you release that emotion and what you can take from a trying time in life. To really gain self-awareness, journal. You can say all those nasty things you want to say, in your journal. In your journal, you can voice all your concerns and even how pains in your past might be coming out now in your adult years. Write about your emotions, decisions and thoughts. Writing things out does two things at the very least. First, it allows you to vent and get emotions out safely. This can help minimize nightmares and panic attacks that can stem from a buildup of emotions. Second, it allows you to note patterns of thoughts and behaviors. Eventually, this pain and these emotions will pass. You can then look back at your writings and note patterns and better understand what led you to certain emotions, actions and reactions. You can use your past journal entries as a tool to help you be more self-aware in the present and to help you react differently moving forward.
Dr. Jaime is your go to life coach who will hold you accountable and push you to succeed. She is the host of The Dr. Jaime Show and author of The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment which is published in over 10 countries over 4 continents. Dr. Jaime is a motivational speaker and the go to keynote for companies. She has been featured nationally, both on TV and other major media outlets, for her expertise in work life balance & goal setting. Find out more about Dr Jaime at http://www.drjaimek.com Subscribe to The Dr Jaime Show on all your favorite podcast apps.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Jaime_Kulaga/1038479
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9944851
Saturday, 20 June 2020
Midlife Career Change: Follow Your Heart
A midlife career change can be very good for you. It can breathe fresh air into what you may consider a stale life and give you the boost you are looking for.
Many mid lifers feel that a midlife crisis or rather a midlife transition is a turning point in their lives. Often their children have grown up and left home. They want something new to challenge them and unfortunately, these challenges aren't always for the good.
Many mid lifers often think it is too difficult undertake a midlife career change, and try to think of different excuses not to do so. In fact, it is very easy, because you may be more financially stable than you have been before, although that is not always the case. Whatever your situation, you may simply wish to follow your dreams. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself, and the amount of connections and contacts you would have built up will make it easier.
No longer is youth seen as the winning argument. Often employers are looking for experience; they want someone who knows the job. Also people with life experience are likely to be more able to learn quickly and adapt the skills they do have to any given situation. You do, however, have to consider your health and what skills you do have. You need to decide why you want to change careers and look at if your age and health will be up to it. A midlife career change might make you feel happier which may even improve your health. People around you will see the differences and will often encourage the career change.
If you have kept up to date with technology then you will be fine and you will be able to bring your wealth of knowledge and experience to any new job. My colleague, Dr. Fred Horowitz, and I did an interview with Ajay Pangarkar, President of CentralKnowledge. He recommends that you "attend webinars (online seminars), take virtual courses from your desk, join blogs (an online diary of an expert), if you are an expert write a blog, mentor or be mentored." When you start your new career, you will know what goals you can set for yourself and how to go about achieving them.
Although the thought of a sudden midlife career change, as you are nearing the end of your career, might be strange to some, others will envy you. Many mid lifers would love to be brave enough to follow their hearts rather than remain safe and stay in a job they will hate in years to come.
If you have a great supporting family and you truly believe that you can change careers, then go for it. You have nothing to lose and you might be very glad you did. If it all goes wrong then you can simply dust yourself off and start again. You will know though that you tried and that's all you can hope for. If you have made the right choice then you will be doing a job that you truly love and not many people can say that.
Dr. Frank Bonkowski writes about midlife career change, goal setting, education, self-discovery, and spirituality to leverage your midlife transition into lifelong happiness at Happiness-After-Midlife.com. Look for his forthcoming e book, entitled Take Charge of Midlife and Beyond: 52 Ideas and Activities for Dealing with Life's Challenges - Aging, Change, Financial Matters, and More!
For help with a midlife career change go to their Web site.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Frank_Bonkowski/159401
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4863145
Many mid lifers feel that a midlife crisis or rather a midlife transition is a turning point in their lives. Often their children have grown up and left home. They want something new to challenge them and unfortunately, these challenges aren't always for the good.
Many mid lifers often think it is too difficult undertake a midlife career change, and try to think of different excuses not to do so. In fact, it is very easy, because you may be more financially stable than you have been before, although that is not always the case. Whatever your situation, you may simply wish to follow your dreams. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself, and the amount of connections and contacts you would have built up will make it easier.
No longer is youth seen as the winning argument. Often employers are looking for experience; they want someone who knows the job. Also people with life experience are likely to be more able to learn quickly and adapt the skills they do have to any given situation. You do, however, have to consider your health and what skills you do have. You need to decide why you want to change careers and look at if your age and health will be up to it. A midlife career change might make you feel happier which may even improve your health. People around you will see the differences and will often encourage the career change.
If you have kept up to date with technology then you will be fine and you will be able to bring your wealth of knowledge and experience to any new job. My colleague, Dr. Fred Horowitz, and I did an interview with Ajay Pangarkar, President of CentralKnowledge. He recommends that you "attend webinars (online seminars), take virtual courses from your desk, join blogs (an online diary of an expert), if you are an expert write a blog, mentor or be mentored." When you start your new career, you will know what goals you can set for yourself and how to go about achieving them.
Although the thought of a sudden midlife career change, as you are nearing the end of your career, might be strange to some, others will envy you. Many mid lifers would love to be brave enough to follow their hearts rather than remain safe and stay in a job they will hate in years to come.
If you have a great supporting family and you truly believe that you can change careers, then go for it. You have nothing to lose and you might be very glad you did. If it all goes wrong then you can simply dust yourself off and start again. You will know though that you tried and that's all you can hope for. If you have made the right choice then you will be doing a job that you truly love and not many people can say that.
Dr. Frank Bonkowski writes about midlife career change, goal setting, education, self-discovery, and spirituality to leverage your midlife transition into lifelong happiness at Happiness-After-Midlife.com. Look for his forthcoming e book, entitled Take Charge of Midlife and Beyond: 52 Ideas and Activities for Dealing with Life's Challenges - Aging, Change, Financial Matters, and More!
For help with a midlife career change go to their Web site.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Frank_Bonkowski/159401
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4863145
Sunday, 14 June 2020
Keep Trying, Don't Give Up, Failure Is Just Part of the Process!
Most of us on this planet are trying hard to increase our income to support our families and help siblings or friends that are really battling, or we may be fighting to conquer a habit or an addiction, and it's hard going. We try and we fail. We try again and we fail again. We give up for awhile then we try again and we fail again. After a while of this, we tend to get discouraged or even depressed. The thing is, this is very normal.
Failure is a normal part of the process of reaching success. We tend to hear of those people who start a home business and immediately rake in the cash, but these are the freaks of the success spectrum. I happen to know a lady personally who is like that - everything she tries immediately turns to gold. But she's not normal. The massive majority of us have to battle through many failures before finding success, so don't give up, keep trying!!
I am not writing to you as one who has attained huge success by perseverance, but rather as a fellow soldier in the trenches with you, failing as you have, and encouraging you not to give up. Our time will come! In fact, I tabulated all my attempts at home businesses, side hustles and wangles, and found that over the last few decades I have attempted sixty one, let's call them "business ventures." Some cost me a lot of money relative to what I had, to get going, and a lot of them made zero return, absolutely nothing. Others were mildly successful, enough to buy my wife a vacuum cleaner and take her out to dinner a few times, but I needed money to get my kids to university, and that really never happened.
But the thing is to not give up. Sooner or later we must get it right. But fail we will, as we go along, but we must just accept it and move on.
I was talking to a friend of mine today. He made little folding wooden tables that fold down flat so people can pack them easily in a caravan or camper, or even in the back of a car, really nice little tables, clever design, quality wood, good workmanship. He had taken them to a craft market on Saturday and had sold none, hardly even any interest shown in them. But apparently, that particular day the craft market was very poorly attended, and mostly by people who didn't have money to spend, so he just went on a bad day. So I encouraged him to persevere, and that he had a good product.
And in the same way I encourage you: don't give up. Keep trying. Believe in yourself - we all have something worthwhile to give. I'm going to keep on trying, and you should too!
Like my writing style? Check out my short book "How to Drive Properly:... and not like a moron!" Kindle Edition on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WPW96HD
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Duncan_Kelly/200361
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10250663
Failure is a normal part of the process of reaching success. We tend to hear of those people who start a home business and immediately rake in the cash, but these are the freaks of the success spectrum. I happen to know a lady personally who is like that - everything she tries immediately turns to gold. But she's not normal. The massive majority of us have to battle through many failures before finding success, so don't give up, keep trying!!
I am not writing to you as one who has attained huge success by perseverance, but rather as a fellow soldier in the trenches with you, failing as you have, and encouraging you not to give up. Our time will come! In fact, I tabulated all my attempts at home businesses, side hustles and wangles, and found that over the last few decades I have attempted sixty one, let's call them "business ventures." Some cost me a lot of money relative to what I had, to get going, and a lot of them made zero return, absolutely nothing. Others were mildly successful, enough to buy my wife a vacuum cleaner and take her out to dinner a few times, but I needed money to get my kids to university, and that really never happened.
But the thing is to not give up. Sooner or later we must get it right. But fail we will, as we go along, but we must just accept it and move on.
I was talking to a friend of mine today. He made little folding wooden tables that fold down flat so people can pack them easily in a caravan or camper, or even in the back of a car, really nice little tables, clever design, quality wood, good workmanship. He had taken them to a craft market on Saturday and had sold none, hardly even any interest shown in them. But apparently, that particular day the craft market was very poorly attended, and mostly by people who didn't have money to spend, so he just went on a bad day. So I encouraged him to persevere, and that he had a good product.
And in the same way I encourage you: don't give up. Keep trying. Believe in yourself - we all have something worthwhile to give. I'm going to keep on trying, and you should too!
Like my writing style? Check out my short book "How to Drive Properly:... and not like a moron!" Kindle Edition on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WPW96HD
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Duncan_Kelly/200361
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10250663
Friday, 29 May 2020
Wednesday, 27 May 2020
Friday, 22 May 2020
Why Those Who Are Most Responsive To Change, Will Always Thrive
Go With The Natural Flow Of Events
What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something you're missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, a friend, work colleagues or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear or something else? How are you responding to them?
I realise I'm asking a lot of questions but it's important we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, granted, you might say I'm angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel this way, however what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you're experiencing may not only be attributed to separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.
These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn't mean they like what is happening. And I'm not suggesting you like what is taking place either because that would be remiss of me. What I am inviting you to do, is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of it. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn't like your current circumstances but stop resisting it?
Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of a vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It's the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.
Life Is Not Personal
Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.
Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians as youngsters, we may have assumed life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life's ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.
So, back to my earlier questions about what you're resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.
It will empower you to control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn't struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as: hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and requires we face them with optimism instead resistance. I often asked myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why don't these people let their experiences get them down? What do they know that others don't?
I'm not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I'm certain however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don't come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn't a state of mind but a way of being in the world.
Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10283482
What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something you're missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, a friend, work colleagues or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear or something else? How are you responding to them?
I realise I'm asking a lot of questions but it's important we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, granted, you might say I'm angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel this way, however what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you're experiencing may not only be attributed to separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.
These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn't mean they like what is happening. And I'm not suggesting you like what is taking place either because that would be remiss of me. What I am inviting you to do, is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of it. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn't like your current circumstances but stop resisting it?
Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of a vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It's the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.
Life Is Not Personal
Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.
Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians as youngsters, we may have assumed life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life's ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.
So, back to my earlier questions about what you're resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.
It will empower you to control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn't struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as: hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and requires we face them with optimism instead resistance. I often asked myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why don't these people let their experiences get them down? What do they know that others don't?
I'm not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I'm certain however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don't come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn't a state of mind but a way of being in the world.
Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10283482
Tuesday, 19 May 2020
Monday, 18 May 2020
Saturday, 16 May 2020
The High Cost of Doing Nothing
By: Daniel Sitter
Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.
Many of us freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away..
What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.
Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to improve. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.
Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.
Author Bio
Daniel Sitter is the author of the popular, award-winning e-book, Learning For Profit. Designed for busy people, his new book teaches simple, step-by-step accelerated learning skills, demonstrating exactly how to learn anything faster than ever before. Learning For Profit is currently available from the author's web site www.learningforprofit.com and a variety of online software and book merchants. Mr. Sitter is a contributing writer for several online and traditional publications. His expertise includes sales, marketing, self-improvement and general business topics.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.
Many of us freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away..
What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.
Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to improve. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.
Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.
Author Bio
Daniel Sitter is the author of the popular, award-winning e-book, Learning For Profit. Designed for busy people, his new book teaches simple, step-by-step accelerated learning skills, demonstrating exactly how to learn anything faster than ever before. Learning For Profit is currently available from the author's web site www.learningforprofit.com and a variety of online software and book merchants. Mr. Sitter is a contributing writer for several online and traditional publications. His expertise includes sales, marketing, self-improvement and general business topics.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Friday, 15 May 2020
Tuesday, 12 May 2020
Wednesday, 29 April 2020
Fear of Death While Living in a Pandemic
The truth is not, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". The truth is, "Fear is nothing to fear"!
This takes us to the ultimate truth - there is nothing to fear!
However, this does not imply that we should not fear.
Fear is a messenger in the same way that pain is a messenger inviting us to investigate and find out what is wrong.
Fear appears when we overlook what is true, real, substantial, essential, permanent about ourselves and the world.
Fear is our healthy resistance to what we do not want - discomfort, harm, pain, suffering, sickness and death.
Yet these are inevitable in our human experience. These are experiences that we have all had countless times (except for death), that we have survived and learned from and will continue to survive and learn from until we die. We need not fear them, yet we do need to resist and avoid them, and fear is the shape our resistance takes.
Now we arrive at the one experience we have never experienced, yet which we all dread - death. Our existential fear of death is our resistance to our death. Why resist it when it is inevitable? This is not to suggest that we not do everything to avoid and resist unhealthy, dangerous situations by taking care and acting in ways that make us safe. But, why resist death?
Our resistance to death leads to imagining crazy things like, "There is a right time and a right way to die, and a wrong time and a wrong way to die". In reality, death appears at all times in all ways. For many it has been and will be the COVID-19 virus. For many, 20,000 or so this year alone, it has been the flu. For 3.1 million children each year according to UNCIEF (1.03 million this year alone) it is undernourishment.
We can learn, gradually or all at once, to live our life with no resistance to death - our own and our loved ones'. Imagine what it would be like to live our life that way - without resisting the fact that one day we will die while never knowing when or how; and not resisting the pain of loss, which is made of the love for our loved ones. As death is inevitable, we can come to relish the fact that we were born and are still here and relish every moment we have left. This is what we arrive at when we welcome our fear of death, discover that fear is nothing to fear, and that in reality there is nothing to fear.
While this implies that we need not be afraid, it does not suggest that we should no longer experience fear. Again, fear, like pain, is a messenger that invites us to explore what is wrong and exposes our resistance to something. There are many things we should resist in the interest of health and safety - like resisting being in close proximity to others during this pandemic.
We know that the body will die, and we believe that when the body dies we die because we believe that all we are is the body. We assume it is a fact that the body is the source of awareness - the awareness with which we are aware of all experience and our selves. In reality, it is a presumption, not a fact. No one has ever seen awareness coming out of the brain, or sensations coming out of the body. It is a fact of our experience that we are aware and that we sense and perceive; but it is a theory that the body is the source of these.
This theory, presumed to be a fact, comes from the undeniable correlation between the brain and experience. Affect the brain and we affect experience. Kill the body and there is no more experience for this person. (There is no experience for any person in deep sleep, yet we do not say the Self has disappeared/died). However, this is no different that affecting our computers and monitors and affecting the information that is experienced, and then concluding that the monitor and computer are the source or cause of the information. Could it be that the body is like the laptop, a local, "personal" means through which we access the bandwidth of universal, impersonal information that is available to all computers; and just as that bandwidth of information remains when the laptop dies, so Being, Awareness, "I" remains?
The fact that all of us as "persons" long for eternal life and most of us believe in life after death or reincarnation may be a clue in our minds and feelings that we are not simply the body, that the body is not the source of awareness, and that when the body dies we, awareness do not disappear any more than the bandwidth of information disappears when a laptop, computer, tablet, or smart phone dies.
Awareness is the source of all experience. This is easy to test. Remove awareness from any experience and where is there any experience? Our experience of what thought labels the body, mind and world is our experience of feeling, sensing, thinking, imagining, and perceiving. Remove awareness and where is the experience of feeling, sensing, thinking, imagining, and perceiving? Experience tell us that awareness is the source of all experience, which thought then labels body, mind, and world.
Nothing in experience indicates that the body is the source of awareness. This is a universally shared idea presumed to be a fact. It is not our actual, immediate, intimate experience. That the earth is flat and that the sun revolves around the earth were also universally shared ideas taken to be facts (still done so by some). Our conviction that something is true does not make it so, although it makes it appear real just as our dreams do until we awake.
No one has ever, or could ever experience the appearance or disappearance of awareness - our Self. Thought imagines that awareness appears and disappears. However, when we do not refer to thought, but stick to our actual, lived, intimate, immediate experience, we recognize that we have never and could never experience the appearance and disappearance of awareness itself. What would have to be present to claim to experience the appearance and disappearance of awareness? Why, awareness, of course!
Thought imagines that everything must have a cause, and this is true except for the "original cause". If matter "caused" awareness, what caused matter? If the big bang caused matter, what caused the big bang? Staying true to our actual, immediate, intimate experience we know that awareness simply is and has no cause; it just is. We have never experienced its appearance, and we have never experienced it's disappearance. It is only thought that imagines awareness appears and disappears, not our actual experience. We can think of this as causeless cause. If we want to think religiously we can ask, "What caused God?"
In short, we have no evidence in our actual experience that when the body dies we, the Self, awareness dies. Even if we do cease to exist when we die, what is there to fear? From that model, we did not exist prior to conception, and that was not a problem, or frightening. Why would ceasing to exist then be frightening? We come back to the realization that death is nothing to fear, either because there is no death, or because ceasing to exist is not any more problematic than not existing before conception.
To summarize, the reality is that we have nothing to fear, and fear is nothing to fear. Yet fear is a healthy response in the same way that pain is. It gets our attention so we can investigate and heal what is wrong when possible. When it comes to our emotional distress, what is wrong is that we are overlooking our true nature - that which is aware of our experience. When we explore the nature of this awareness that we are from our immediate, intimate experience, we notice it is ever-present, having been present from our very first experience, being present reading these words, and will be present at our last experience. We notice that it is not an object with form and location. In other words it is eternal and infinite. We notice that no experience can diminish or enhance it, that is, it is changeless. Nothing can harm it. It needs nothing while knowing everything. It is free from all experience while intimate with all experience. Thus, to characterize awareness, it is safe, at peace, secure and self-fulfilled. This is, in reality our true nature.
When we overlook our true Self, awareness, we believe and feel that we are limited, vulnerable, lacking, separate, needy people and seek to find peace, happiness, security, comfort and fulfillment from things outside of ourselves like relationships, objects, situations, activities, substances, accomplishments, status, etc. No wonder fear appears! Remember, fear is a messenger. When we believe and feel that security, peace and happiness are missing, wee need to look for these, but we need to look in the right direction. No one is interested in temporary security, happiness and fulfillment we already experience this. What we long for is abiding, permanent peace, security, comfort, happiness, fulfilment.=. To seek what is permanent from that which is temporary is, well, you fill in the blank.
Welcome fear and look for freedom from fear, first by accepting and embracing it, and then by investigating its source.
There is nothing to fear in reality, which does not mean, "Do not fear". It means, "Investigate to find out what is true".
#KnowThySelf
Ricardo Hidalgo My area of expertise is psychology. I have been a professional counselor since 1980. Emotional literacy, emotional freedom and generating emotional well-being are my expertise. Suffering is inevitable until we realize that it is optional. I help people realize the truth of this.
My mission is to help myself and others end suffering.
Fear of Death While Living in a Pandemic
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