Midlife ladies - how do you really feel about your aging face and body?

We are all too familiar with the panic when we discover:

- Our first grey hair
- Our weight has been slowly increasing despite no change in lifestyle
- First wrinkle
- First age spot
- Fat just isn't staying at the right places these days

What did you do after that? Did you try to ignore it? Did you start looking for the 'non-surgical facelift'?

What is the right thing to do? I don't know and I don't think there is a right answer.

I have recently read an interesting book, which candidly talked about the challenge women felt as their looks change. Allowed me to have a truly honest discussion with my self about my feelings towards aging appearance, which we don't seem to be comfortable discussing openly.

Check this out if you are feeling uneasy about signs of aging -

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Why You're So Stressed (And What You Can Do About It)

Manifestation: Is The Law Of Attraction A Lie?

For many, many years now, a lot has been said about something called the law of attraction. In most cases, this law is used to back up the view that someone's thoughts create their reality.

As a result of this, if someone wants to experience or to attain something, they will need to have the right thoughts. It is then 'all about the mind' and there is no other part of ones being that needs to be taken into consideration.

The Downside

Furthermore, if someone ends up in a bad position or if they haven't got what they desire, it will be because they have had the wrong thoughts. The same will apply if they are ill or if their health is not as they would like it to be.

So no matter what is going on for someone, they will need to sort out their thoughts and everything will soon be fine. As for how long it will take for their life will change, it will all depend on how long it takes them to only have positive thoughts.

Pure Fantasy

One way of looking at the law of attraction would be to say that it is nothing more than childlike thinking; that's not to say that childlike thinking is always bad, though. Clearly, purely thinking positive won't do much by itself.

Also, if someone is ill, are they only ill because they have been having too many 'negative' thoughts? If someone believes in the law of attraction, they can easily end up coming across as lacking compassion and they can make people believe that they are to blame for what is taking place in their life.

A Surface Level Understanding

When it comes to this law, what is rarely taken into account is what is taking place at a deeper level. The point of focus is the conscious mind, while the unconscious mind is left at the door.

In some cases, the unconscious mind won't even be thought about; it will be as though it doesn't even exist. But while this part is often overlooked, what if what is going on in this part if someone's being has a far greater impact than what is going on in their conscious mind?

The Shadow/Dark Side

The conscious mind is often seen as the tip of the iceberg, which shows how insignificant it is. The part of the iceberg that can't be seen, the unconscious mind, is far more significant than the part that can be seen.

The question is: why is the unconscious mind so important when it comes to how someone experiences life? Firstly, it is far more powerful than their conscious mind, and secondly, it is where someone will store all of their baggage.

A Different Law

Another law that is not as well known as the law of attraction is the law of resonance. Unlike the first law, this law doesn't say that someone's thoughts manifest their reality; it says that what they are resonating creates their reality.

When it comes to what makes up someone resonance, it will relate to what is being carried in their resonance field. This will include their thoughts, feelings, beliefs and the trauma that they have experienced in this life and has been passed down to them from their ancestors.

Two Areas

What this means is that one's resonance is not just the result of what is taking place in their mind, it is also the result of what is taking place in their unconscious mind/body. If someone wanted to change their life and they were to only focus on their thoughts, it would be the equivalent to cutting the top part off a weed off and not getting the root out.

Just as with a garden, if someone wants to actually change their life they will need to deal with what is taking place at a deeper level. Ultimately, the pain that is being carried in their body might rarely enter their conscious mind, but it will still have a massive impact on what they attract or repel into their reality.

An Important Part

Naturally, if it is not just someone's thoughts and what is taking place in their conscious mind that is having an impact on their life but it is also their feelings and what is taking place in their unconscious mind, only dealing with their thoughts and what is taking place up top is not going to be enough. The feelings that are held in their body will need to be dealt with too.

Most likely, one will be carrying feelings in their body that they are not even aware of. But, even though this will be the case, these feelings will still influence what they are resonating and, what they are resonating will define what they can or can't experience.

An Analogy

When it comes to describing the law of resonance, one thing that Dov Baron (an expert on this subject) often said was that if someone is tuned into a radio station that only plays one style of music, they won't be able to hear any other style. The same will apply to one's own life; if they are resonating lack, for instance, they will attract experiences that are in sync with where they are at energetically.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that someone attracts what they are. This is why a big part of experiencing something involves letting go and not being attached to it as if one is attached and is not in a place of already having what they want, they will attract more of what is in alignment with their current state/vibration.

Awareness

The other thing that is not always mentioned is the importance of taking action; inspired action to be specific. One is then playing their part or meeting the universe halfway, so to speak.
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If one wants to change their life, it will be essential for them to deal with their inner baggage. When one does the inner work, they will be getting their hands dirty and it will be painful, but it will enable them to change their life.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

This is actually a trick question, as few of us are completely optimistic or completely pessimistic. That said, most people do tend to lean more heavily towards one over the other.

It is difficult to get good research data on the percentages, as people who lean towards pessimism do not usually admit they are pessimists. The most recent study I could find was in 2013 and in it, it listed 50% of Americans identifying as being optimists, which seems (rather ironically) fitting considering the standard way many of us evaluate whether someone is an optimist or a pessimist is whether they see the glass as half-full or half-empty

The problem is, that of the remaining 50%, only 4% identified themselves as pessimists. I know this is not very scientific, but I see a lot more Debbie-Downers walking around where I live than 4%. I'm guessing a majority of the 43% who identified as "somewhere in-between" are more heavily pessimistic, as an optimistic person would likely have jumped at the chance to identify themselves as an optimist. Conversely, a pessimistic person would likely be fearful of jumping to that conclusion, but also fearful of labeling themselves a pessimist as well.

You'd be hard pressed to come up with many great historical leaders or inventors who were pessimists (I cannot think of any off the top of my head). But that does not mean we do not need pessimists too. If leaders surround themselves solely with other optimists they are likely to miss the changing currents around them. Some professions lend themselves to pessimism such as CPA's, Safety Engineers and Actuaries just to name a few.

Pessimists tend to think of themselves as realistic and most things in life need a balance of realists and dreamers. I consider myself an optimistic realist. My clients rely on me to "Keep it real," and at the same time help them find inventive ways to better themselves.

It's imperative that I give each client things that help them get from where they are now, to where they want to be in the future. It would be overly optimistic to teach an 11-year old who is still learning their craft, the same things I teach professionals, who are already at the top of theirs.

Although pessimists serve a purpose in society, I cannot think of a good reason anyone would rather be one. I can however, think of several advantages of being an optimist over a pessimist. Optimists tend to be upbeat, have higher goals, and achieve more than pessimists. They are also considerably less likely to give up in the face of challenges or negative forces they experience.

Many people are of the mistaken belief that you are born either an optimist or a pessimist. I have found that each and every one of us have the ability to become an optimist, if we make that choice. It's really no different than someone with poor eyesight. They can choose to live with their bad eyesight or they can get lenses that enable them to see clearly. Pessimists can similarly learn to view things through a corrective lens in their mind and change their entire outlook.

It's rare to run across a peak performer who is not an optimist at heart. I have worked with clients that came to me with a pessimistic bent and the ones who were willing to work to change their outlook were the ones who achieved at higher levels. I believe there is a degree of self-fulfilling prophecy at work in being an optimist as well.

As Norman Cousins eloquently stated, "Optimism doesn't wait on facts. It deals with prospects. Pessimism is a waste of time." The bottom line is, no mater where you fall on the Pessimism/Optimism scale you have the power to change it.

You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc

POSTED IN THE MIND SIDE BLOG

Sam Obitz is a leader in the use and development of mental skills that help you achieve peak performance. Visit The Mind Side Blog at http://supertao.com/category/the-mind-side-blog/

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Not Me By Alexa Keating

When we continue to accept behaviors and situations that are not aligned with the path we have chosen for our life, we need to ask why. The mere fact that we do not question it is consenting to allowing other people to control our behavior unconsciously.

Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep making excuses for bad behavior or for those who do not follow through on promises or commitments? If we are willing to ask the question, 'why' we move forward in leaps and bounds from an illusion that serves no purpose to us. We move into the presence of reality. Instead of being incapacitated by the unknown, we can move forward in our own planned life journey.

Think about the power of intermittent reinforcement in our emotional lives. This is what gets gamblers and addicts hooked. It is what causes very intelligent people to remain in terrible relationships. If it were always bad, you would leave. It is those intermittent 'good times', and wins or highs for the addict, that keep us hooked and returning for more. But you see how the lives of most gamblers and addicts turn out in the end. It is the same with people in our lives who are a part of unhealthy relationships. The results are rarely worth the price of the ride. And, intermittent is as good as it gets; just enough to keep you coming back for more.

How much of this intermittent reward keeps us hooked to our delusions; forces us back to the denial of the real situation? All of this happens because, for a moment, things were better or good.

The good news is that when we wake up in the dream we call our life journey, we realize we chose those poisonous situations to intensify our need to embrace higher values, a higher perception of how we need to see ourselves. Sometimes we create life situations that are guaranteed to make us crash! A head-on crash, so that we have no choice but to wake the hell up and alter our course.

How powerful denial and delusion can be when we are avoiding the big mirror! What is it that we are so afraid to confront in ourselves? What is that dread we wake up with in the morning when it feels like there is something missing? What is that?

It is probably that our good friends and companions, denial and delusion are not yet awake and in control of our emotions. They act as a drug in and of themselves. We become addicted to them and their calming and soothing effects.

It is a lot like being addicted to a computer game. Your screen, or your life view, will reflect dramatic wins that you may even talk about and enjoy; yet, when you turn off the computer, the game vanishes into thin air, a delusion. It was always in the virtual world; it will never show up to accept responsibility for the actions it pervades. These companions are the proverbial 'Not Me's' in your life. You can't find their miserable backsides when it is time to be accountable for your actions. Just like the virtual games, only you can see the wins.

If you are caught up in playing the victim in your game of life, where are you playing that role? At work, as a parent, in an intimate relationship? It an odd fact that those who appear strong and fearless at work may step into the door of their home and immediately assume the role of an abused victim. Publicly they appear as strong and in control people; privately they are emotionally or physically abused if they are caught in this pattern. How does that happen?

Humans instinctively seek to survive and at some level, live out their life dreams. If you are caught in a web of deception and delusion in a relationship, it is not uncommon for you to shine in your work, or vice versa. This is the soul of the dreamer seeking some method to express the joy they originally planned.
We are all born to win; playing a victim is another expression of unhealthy boundaries we have embraced.

It also provides a way to become 'Not Me' when you can excuse the actions you have taken and the choices you have made by blaming someone else for robbing you of your choices. We are our own bandits and thief's in this scenario.

Behold; the head on collision delivering the results of your wrong actions and bad choices. If you are going to survive the ride on your life journey, something has to wake you up so you can navigate the trip successfully.

Imagine that you have chosen a destination and get into your car, buckle the seat belt, start the engine and then proceed to look through the rear view mirror to arrive at your desired destination. You are looking for direction in the mirror that provides the least amount of valuable information, rather than choosing to look through the large expansive windshield that is before you. When you continue the same methods that allowed you to arrive at your current destination, it provides the same effect as navigating through the rear view mirror.

If you have a sense of dread about something it is time to honestly examine where the great sense of power originated that became attached to the thing you dread most. What are you running from? What do you dread and why? How can you disarm this opponent? Can you make a different choice, choose a better path; are you captive because you fear the change? A sense of dread forces you to play the victim's role, a powerless position to assume.

What are you the most disillusioned about in your life? Have you identified the actual issue that is so disillusioning to you? Did you play a part in creating this issue? Are you willing to stop playing that role if you are a part of it?

You cannot win this battle until you are able to be honest with yourself about what it is. Then examine how it became reality; once you have done this, you are in a position to go to battle and win this one in your life.

We all have an addiction to something. If you are in the throes of an unhealthy one, trade it for something that is good for you; good for your path and your life journey. Then stop being a party to continuing the old addiction.

These are simple words that require a deep commitment to change if you want to honestly effect a change. You cannot 'go along to get along' and imagine that things have changed.

Alexa Keating is a healing and transformative writer with 32 published books and 500 + articles available on Ezine articles.

The most important writing goal for me is that my words be healing, transformative, informative and humorous whenever possible; laughter lifts the soul! For more information please join me on my web site at http://www.arkconnect.com. I appreciate every person who takes the time to peruse, read and share my work with me.

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