Stresspensation: Evaluating the Impact of Stress in Career Decision Making

Brad was an incredibly bright young executive with a very promising future. Ever since graduating college, he seemed to take on increased responsibilities in his company like a duck to water. He married his college sweetheart, Nancy, right after graduation and has two small children. Brad's talent didn't go unnoticed in the industry, with several competitors approaching Brad about his willingness to join another firm. He steadfastly resisted, that is until the offer of all offers came his way.

ACME Corp, a larger and more prominent competitor to his current company, wined and dined Brad and ultimately offered him a VP position with a higher salary and better benefits. The offer was too good to pass up so Brad talked with Nancy about the job and they both became enamored with how this was going to advance Brad's career and what they would be able to do with the extra money. Brad joyfully accepted ACME's offer, gave his current company two weeks' notice, and started in his new VP role.

Within a year of joining ACME, he noticed some unexpected side effects of his new position. He was required to be in weekly global executive virtual meetings which could happen at any time of the day or night. He was routinely working 60+ hours a week, missing dinner with Nancy and the kids. He traveled at least once a week, many times to put out fires at clients. His eating habits were horrendous and he wasn't exercising due to his schedule. He began putting on weight. Nancy was frustrated with him not being around and his kids missed their daddy. The stress was unbearable and led to Brad one day grabbing his chest and collapsing during a customer meeting.

While the above story about Brad is fictional, each one of us knows of a Brad (or perhaps is Brad) who made a career choice without considering the effects of the extra stress. The American Institute of Stress (yes there is such an organization) has quantified the cost of stress to employers at $300 billion annually due to things such as absenteeism, accidents, turnover, diminished productivity, and medical costs. Add to that the personal costs of stress (i.e., poor health, weight gain/loss, sleep deprivation) and the relationship costs of stress (i.e., fractured relationships, friends or loved ones alienation, missed school plays), and you have a perfect storm of negative factors which make any kind of work-life balance virtually impossible to attain. In my 30 years of working with career professionals, stress typically takes a back seat to compensation and when considered, it is usually only a slice of the true stress level that the professional will endure. In the first ten years of my own career I saw stress as a given and gave it no consideration when evaluating career alternatives. This was a big mistake and a lesson I learned the hard way. Fortunately I learned it early in my career and was able to make some positive changes. However, some professionals never get it.

To help the professional evaluate the impact of stress when deciding on a career change, I've defined a comparative increase/decrease method to evaluate the impact of stress, based on three stress types:

(a) Relationship Stress

(b) Work Stress

(c) Personal Stress

For each stress type, a qualitative degree of stress is defined as follows:

1 - Minimal Stress

2 - Moderate Stress

3 - Significant Stress

In evaluating the impact of stress, each of the three stress types is assigned a value for the current and new job alternatives, then a comparative increase/decrease assessment is derived for each stress type. Let's put this to an example.

Lets say that a systems analyst (I'll call her Ann) is currently in a job paying $90,000/year and she's been offered a new position paying $100,000/year. On the surface, Ann likes the idea of a $10k raise and looks at the three stress types for each job, as follows:

Current Position

Relationship stress = 2 due to infrequent evening meetings only.
Personal stress = 1 due to ability to keep up with personal interests without sacrifice
Work stress = 2 due to some tight deadlines
New Position

Relationship stress = 3 due to evening meetings and four international trips/year to work with offshore developers
Personal stress = 2 due to having to alter exercise schedule, and having to drop book club
Work stress = 3 due to mission critical deadlines and regular status updates to senior management
When you look at the three stress types the following pops out about the new position:

Stress Type    Current Position    New Position    Increase/Decrease
Relationship      2                   3                Increase

Personal          1                   2                Increase

Work              2                   3                Increase

Ann is now faced with the following decision: Is the salary bump of $10k worth the incremental relationship, personal and work stress she'll endure? Depending on whatever other decision criteria Ann factors into her decision, the answer could be yes or no. Whether or not she takes the job is still her decision; what the process has done is forced her to consider the three stress types and derive data points in which she can use in her overall decision-making.

There are a number of important considerations for you to digest in using this methodology:

First, this is not an autonomic decision-making tool where the numeric answer is the sole job determinant. The impact of stress methodology is meant to bring relationship, personal, and work stress factors to the forefront of your decision making process.

Second, you need to be realistic about stress levels. "Wishing down" a stress level doesn't make it go away; it just sets you up for a letdown (or worse) after you've made your decision.

Third, you need to let your friends and loved ones come up with the relationship stress value and not assume a value for them. The real benefit in the methodology is the thought process and discussions you have along the way. Don't shortcut how your stress type values are determined or you'll miss out on some valuable nuggets.

Fourth, the methodology applies to any type of career change which involves new or different responsibilities, including promotions. Most of us are wired to blindly accept promotions without regard for the additional stress which may accompany the promotion.

Fifth, there will likely be stress in any job change; make sure you look at your steady-state stress level versus the "learning curve" stress level.

Your Go-Dos

When faced with your next career decision, follow these five steps to assess your impact of stress and help you decide on your career choice course of action:

Ask a lot of questions about the job and the degree of relationship, personal and work stress entailed in the job. Seek out others who may have done the job before or others who have some inside perspective.
Look at the job responsibilities (both stated and those you derive through interviews) and determine how much stress each of the responsibilities will create for you. Decide on a 1-3 work stress value.
Write down the personal activities and goals you have (i.e. exercise 4x/week, sleep at least 7 hours a night) and determine how the career choice would impact each of the activities and goals. Decide on a 1-3 personal stress value.
Openly discuss with your friends and loved ones what the career choice would mean in terms of impact to relationship time (i.e. not being home for dinner, availability to help with homework) and ask them to decide on a 1-3 relationship stress value.
Derive the increase/decrease in stress for each of the three stress types.
Decide how you're going to factor the impact of stress into your overall decision.
Remember, the real benefit in utilizing the impact of stress methodology is in the discovery process you'll go through to understand relationship, personal, and work stress drivers for different career choices. Be real with yourself as to how a career choice will affect you and those you love.

Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com

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Midlife Career Change: Follow Your Heart

A midlife career change can be very good for you. It can breathe fresh air into what you may consider a stale life and give you the boost you are looking for.

Many mid lifers feel that a midlife crisis or rather a midlife transition is a turning point in their lives. Often their children have grown up and left home. They want something new to challenge them and unfortunately, these challenges aren't always for the good.

Many mid lifers often think it is too difficult undertake a midlife career change, and try to think of different excuses not to do so. In fact, it is very easy, because you may be more financially stable than you have been before, although that is not always the case. Whatever your situation, you may simply wish to follow your dreams. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself, and the amount of connections and contacts you would have built up will make it easier.

No longer is youth seen as the winning argument. Often employers are looking for experience; they want someone who knows the job. Also people with life experience are likely to be more able to learn quickly and adapt the skills they do have to any given situation. You do, however, have to consider your health and what skills you do have. You need to decide why you want to change careers and look at if your age and health will be up to it. A midlife career change might make you feel happier which may even improve your health. People around you will see the differences and will often encourage the career change.

If you have kept up to date with technology then you will be fine and you will be able to bring your wealth of knowledge and experience to any new job. My colleague, Dr. Fred Horowitz, and I did an interview with Ajay Pangarkar, President of CentralKnowledge. He recommends that you "attend webinars (online seminars), take virtual courses from your desk, join blogs (an online diary of an expert), if you are an expert write a blog, mentor or be mentored." When you start your new career, you will know what goals you can set for yourself and how to go about achieving them.

Although the thought of a sudden midlife career change, as you are nearing the end of your career, might be strange to some, others will envy you. Many mid lifers would love to be brave enough to follow their hearts rather than remain safe and stay in a job they will hate in years to come.

If you have a great supporting family and you truly believe that you can change careers, then go for it. You have nothing to lose and you might be very glad you did. If it all goes wrong then you can simply dust yourself off and start again. You will know though that you tried and that's all you can hope for. If you have made the right choice then you will be doing a job that you truly love and not many people can say that.


Dr. Frank Bonkowski writes about midlife career change, goal setting, education, self-discovery, and spirituality to leverage your midlife transition into lifelong happiness at Happiness-After-Midlife.com. Look for his forthcoming e book, entitled Take Charge of Midlife and Beyond: 52 Ideas and Activities for Dealing with Life's Challenges - Aging, Change, Financial Matters, and More!
For help with a midlife career change go to their Web site.

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Career Anxiety - What Happens When Things Don't Go As Planned?

I was talking with a doctor friend the other day who said, "You know, this isn't where I expected to be at this point. I lost half of my portfolio - that was my kids' college fund. I didn't think I'd have to be working this hard at this age."

Another friend who just lost his job said, "I'm 55, unemployed, and not feeling too good about myself right now. This isn't how I pictured things turning out."

Life doesn't always go as planned - especially when it comes to employment.

Obviously, the severity of this recession has put enormous pressure on millions of people, wreaking havoc with all sorts of plans. But a lot of other things can make for rough sailing on the job front.

You don't get along with your boss. The job isn't a good fit. Your company merges with another one creating redundant jobs. Your industry has reached maturity. Due to an increasingly onerous tax burden, your company packs up and relocates to another state. The startup you're working for is unsuccessful securing its next round of funding. Your company goes out of business. Some sort of government regulation materially changes the playing field in your industry. The list goes on...

Anything can happen.

Change is the constant you can count on. (And in an increasingly dynamic market, that pace of change is only going to accelerate.)

You've got to be proactive. Anticipate. Be prepared for anything. Don't just have a plan; have a contingency plan. Keep them current.

The days of cruising through your career on auto pilot are over. Be ready for anything, be observant, and keep your eyes on the horizon.

Rebecca Metschke helps professionals improve their marketability. The author of The Interview Edge ([http://www.TheInterviewEdge.com]), a comprehensive career guide to career management, she also writes a daily blog posting strategies, tips and advice for those whose careers are in transition ([http://blog.theinterviewedge.com]).

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Midlife Crisis Or Midlife Opportunity?

During middle years we can find ourselves experiencing five different 'wake up' calls. Each one has the potential to provide its own 'crisis'.

The five crisis of mid-life are:

1. Cultural
2. Health
3. Relationship
4. Financial/Career
5. Existential

Generally, I refer to midlife as the range from 35 to 60 years, although these life-changing crises can occur before or after these ages. And whilst I'll explain these crises individually for ease of understanding, it's worth remembering that they rarely work in isolation. There's more of an interdependent relationship between them than you might at first realise.

For example, if someone is unhappy at work they may stick for years at it to avoid a financial crisis but the effect on their overall psyche can lead to a marriage break up, a health breakdown and spiritual crisis. If somebody comes down with a life threatening illness they may lose their job, their marriage, their health and ultimately their will to live.

1. Cultural

Midlife transition is a universal phenomenon whereas midlife crisis is more a Western phenomenon, with our culture favouring youth over age and wisdom.

Many people in their forties and fifties in the West don't look forward to the benefits of eldership like they do in the East. Tribal people have always acknowledged the power of someone moving to wholeness and wisdom, as they get older.

Here in the West there's a stigma attached to reaching the half way mark, "I'm over the hill" is an oft-quoted comment.

I don't believe we're over the hill, but standing on top of the hill. From this high vantage point we're able to look back and see the journey we've taken to get here. We can review our lives and trace our steps. We can see, understand and appreciate how our life's events, and the choices we've made along the way, have made us who we are today.

Reminding ourselves of what we've been through and what we've learnt can provide us with valuable insights as we move forward. With this clarity we're able to choose the direction we'd like to go in and clearly see the next mountain we'd like to climb. And so we set off into the unknown - a new terrain for the next life adventure.

2. Health

There's nothing more shocking than coming face to face with your own mortality, either through a life threatening illness or the death of a loved one.

By the time we hit midlife, our parents are likely to be experiencing some of the issues that age brings; physical and mental deterioration, or even dying. One statistic I read said mid-lifers today are twice as likely to be emotionally, physically and sometimes financially supporting an aging parent.

As I've entered the second half of life I've become increasingly aware of death. As a young adult I lived with the illusion of immortality and felt 'bullet proof'. I went through those early years as if I was indestructible.

Now, in mid life I've seen many people my age succumb to cancer and heart attacks. A dear friend's mother died recently. He says that now he's on his own, he has a clear sense of his own mortality and it's woken him up to the fact that life is too short to be lived on cruise control.

In midlife many of our health problems are self-imposed. Fast foods, lack of quality rest and non-stop activity takes its toll on our physical and emotional well being. Today we're taking on more and more trying to cram every moment with more activities causing our threshold for stress to increase. The bodily alarm keeps going off but we keep hitting the snooze button so we can keep going and going. Eventually the body breaks down through neglect.

3. Relationships

The result of crises in relationships may take the form of extra-marital affairs and ultimately divorce. Relationships that were founded on physical looks, sex, financial security, prestige and expediency can flounder into crisis around the midlife period.

Many midlifers also have teenage children who are going through their rebellious, "I know it all" stage. When you add all these factors together and couple them with the angst midlife brings, you have a potent, volatile mix.

Another crisis for mid-lifers today is whether to have children or not. As a woman's biological clock ticks away, couples can feel under immense pressure to make a life changing decision and then have to come to terms with their decision. And what of the added burden of dealing with the social stigma that's attached to being childless? Then there are those who have been trying to have children for years only to find out that they can't. This can be devastating to both parties and can make or break the relationship.

4. Financial/Career

Financial crises are commonplace in midlife. Acquisitions, mergers, downsizing, advancements in technology all take their toll on the mid-lifer. Suddenly finding yourself out of a job can be shocking.

If somebody loses their job in their twenties or thirties it's annoying, but when somebody loses their job in their late forties or fifties it's traumatic. To somebody whose whole identity is entwined with the status and title their job brings, losing a job can be a devastating blow to his or her sense of self worth. And its not just their identity they lose, it's their financial insurance, community, and livelihood. One of my clients summed up his job loss when he said, "It's not just a job, it's my whole life!"

For someone who's invested so much into his or her job, losing it is ultimate failure. The result of that perception sends some spiralling in to a deep dark black hole called depression. Some don't lose their job but are stuck in jobs they hate; it pays the bills but leaves them feeling empty.

The funny thing about careers is that for a lot of people they didn't actually choose it - it chose them. Think about your own experience. Did somebody either tell you that you would be good at that particular job or did you get into it because you simply had to get a job to earn some money?

All of this generally happened whilst we were a young adult, at a time when we didn't know ourselves very well. It generally isn't until we hit our thirties or forties that we hit the 'awake wall' and ask, "Why am I doing this?" "How did I get here?"

5. Existential

This crisis is really a crisis of meaning or a spiritual crisis. It's the drive to find out and understand the deeper meaning of life. It's an internal crisis, whereas the other four happen externally to us. This is why I believe midlife has a positive intention for us. An existential crisis causes us to ask the age-old existential questions of life. Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?

In one sense an existential crisis is linked to the four other crisis. When an event comes along that disrupts our fundamental assumptions about life, the result is a search for the deeper meaning of it all. For example, if somebody loses his or her job and is staring financial ruin in the face, it can lead to a search for greater meaning.

Somebody facing a life threatening illness can start to seek the deeper meaning of it all. Events like these can slam us back into what we value most. You may have personally experienced the sort of family relationship healing that takes place when somebody we love is close to death.

Forgiveness, love and compassion are what matter most in times like these. Many I've interviewed sum up their current existence by saying they've come to a point in their life where they feel like they're in the wrong place with the wrong people doing the wrong thing. This wake up call starts a process of deep inner reflection. They look around and wonder what they're doing and what prompted the choices they made. Usually they find that their current unhappiness had its roots firmly planted in their youth.

Nothing has any meaning other than the meaning we give it...

It's a rare individual indeed who'll not face at least one of these crises in their middle years. That part we may not be able to control over, but we do have a choice as to what meaning we give them. We can give them the meaning of great personal and family disasters, but this will only serve to increase our pain and deepen the suffering.

I did some research on the word, 'crisis' which in my little Bloomsbury dictionary is defined as; a turning point; a critical moment; an emergency. After a little more research I found the word 'crisis' comes from the Greek word krinein, which literally means, 'to decide'. Before I did that little piece of research the word crisis for me had a negative tone. Now I think it has a positive tone.

The term 'midlife crisis' now means a time in our life when important decisions need to be made.

Maybe it's time we changed our language from, "I'm having a midlife crisis" to "I'm experiencing a:

-Midlife evolution
-Midlife empowerment stage
-Midlife growth stage
-Midlife kick
-Midlife challenge
-Midlife transition
-Midlife wake up call

Which one best resonates with you?

There are no meaningless events...

It's my belief that there are no meaningless events in life. Every crisis, no matter how devastating, is also an opportunity for profound and deep personal growth.

It was Stephen Covey who said, "In the absence of a wakeup call, many of us never really confront the critical issues of life."

Each one of these five crises are challenges, with important lessons to be learned. Plenty of stories abound of people who have chosen an empowering meaning to life's difficulties and, as a result, turned their lives around.

Midlife is not a weak part of our evolution; it's an empowering step. So let's step up!

Colin writes about how to find your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life at Midlife Maverick.

If you enjoyed this article you may wish to download his acclaimed free e-course, "Live Your Own Life, Only Better!" http://midlifemaverick.com/live-your-own-life-only-better

Or, Join his ezine and get "Breaking Free" ebook as a gift. http://www.midlifemaverick.com/breaking-free

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