Friday, 9 October 2020
MOTIVATION AND HOW TO CREATE IT (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations-positive motivations and being motivations toward doing something; negative motiviations being toward NOT doing something (not smoking, for example).
Almost invariably, the method they have tried before (unsuccessfully) has been to beat themselves into it. This happens through a negative inner dialog, such as: "You lazy person, you'll never get anywhere;" "you have to do this whether you like it or not;" or "no one will ever love you until you do." Sometimes, they have tried bribing or persuading themselves, which works for a while, but fails sooner or later. Sometimes, they have gotten another person to push them around, such as a motivational group, hypnosis, a parent or parent substitute, who will insist that they have to behave.
This third option works quite well for some people for a long time. However, the nature of this persuasion is to overpower the client's natural process, and the people who come to me come because they have rebelled against the authority of that person or group, and find that now they can't do what they would like to because of their rebellion! The truth is, that if we believe someone else is pushing us around, we are not likely to respond cooperatively. Especially when the "pushy person" is oneself!!!
The fact is, no matter how nasty and angry these people get with themselves, they cannot get motivated. Together, my clients and I have had tremendous, verifiable success with these problems, and every client who has worked with me has succeeded in getting motivated, both "negative motivation" and "positive motivation". The reason for such success is htat creating motivation is easy.
I maintain that motivation grows out of celebration and appreciation. I like to state it in equation form: celebration + appreciation = motivation
By this I mean that if you can find a way to appreciate yourself for what you've already accomplished, and to celebrate your previous successes (and believe em, you CAN find a way), you will find you are "magically" motivated to accomplish more. No struggle, no hassle-you accomplish out of the pure fun of success! To illustrate what I mean, I will describe two possible employers. The "bad boss" and the "good boss".
The Bad Boss
-Operates through intimidation and criticism...
-Always complains; never praises (you only know you're doing OK because the boss says nothing)
-Gets nasty if you make a mistake
-Humiliates you in front of others
-Never thinks you've done enough
-Assumes you are lazy and dishonest
-Changes the rules arbitrarily
-Is never satisfied of pleased
(get the picture?)
The Good Boss
-Praises Frequently
-Always lets you know when you're doing well
-Asks you what you need whenever you've made a mistake;
-Is very helpful
-Is concerned about your well-being as well as your productivity
-Assumes you want to do a good job
-Helps you feel like part of the team
-Treats you as a valued human being
-Is clear about the duties expected of you.
Both of these bosses have the same goal: to get the job done. However, there is a big difference in the success of their individual management styles. Think about your probable reaction to the two styles of management. The bad boss's office is characterized by tension and anger. People work only to keep the boss off their backs, and consequently goof-off whenever he/she is not around. They are not efficient, because they are not motivated to accomplish anything, merely to avoid the boss's anger. They are operating in a mental state we call "adaptation", which is focused on keeping someone (usually someone angry or nasty) off their backs.
They have little loyalty to anything but their paychecks, and perhaps each other, as mistreated prisoners are loyal to each other when confronting the jailer. Offices which are characterized by inefficiency and disharmony. If this boss requires overtime, he/she encounters resistance.
If you were working for this boss, how would you feel? Would you go to work happily each day? Would you volunteer for extra work? Would you look forward to each new assignment? Probably not. In short, you would not feel highly motivated, would you?
On the other hand, the employees of the good boss tend to care about themselves and their jobs. They feel proud of their accomplishments, and eager to learn more and accomplish more. If the boss is gone, the work still goes on, because people are in a mental state of motivation, and are being gratified by their sense of accomplishment. When this boss requests overtime, he/she will be met with a cooperative response.
Again, take a moment and picture yourself in this situation. How would you feel? Would you feel eager to please this boss? Would you look forward to his/her reaction to your latest work? Would you be willing to help out, if extra work were necessary? Most likely, you would-you would feel enthusiastic and motivated, looking forward to work each day.
Notice the difference in your energy in the two situations. Which boss would you rather work for? Hopefully, it's as obvious to you as it is to me. I would prefer the good boss (just the names I have chosen for the two styles have probably made that obvious.)
In the daily tasks and situations of our lives, we become our own bosses; whether we are aware of it or not. We have a choice about which kind of a boss we wish to be to ourselves. If you decide as most of my clients (and myself) have, you will choose to become the good boss to yourself. This means you learn to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, be very generous with praise, and gentle with corrections. Then you will accomplish your goals with a sense of pride and achievement, and a great deal of pleasure. You will feel motivated, and wonder why you never realized how easy it was.
All of this can be accomplished through the two "magic motivators": celebration and appreciation. Most of us know how to appreciate others. However, when it comes to ourselves, we feel embarrassed and uncomfortable if we are too generous with praise.
Years of being told not to brag or to be stuck up when we were young have taken their toll, and self-appreciation comes awkwardly. However, if motivation is a desirable trait, then self-appreciation becomes necessary and desirable too. The good news is that you can learn it.
If you would like to learn self-appreciation and it is difficult for you, I recommend practicing in several ways. Many of my clients have found it fun to buy small gold foil star stickers (just like in grade school) and award them to themselves for jobs well done, or any achievements they wish to celebrate. Pasting the stars on a calendar daily can be very effective. Go ahead, award yourself lots!
Other kinds of stickers are readily available. One of my clients rewarded herself for being successful in her eating program with small stickers representing jelly beans, chocolates and ice cream cones! She got her dessert in praise instead of calories.
Also, it can be effective to remember back to childhood parties and celebrations. One of my clients was told never to make noise because her grandmother was ill. However, shewas allowed to play her accordion as loud as she wanted to when she practiced. To this day, playing her accordion feels like a celebration and a chance for her to sound off. Early birthday parties or holiday outings that were special can also be tapped for ideas. If Mom always cooked a turkey for a big occasion, or set the table with the best china, or a bottle of champagne was served, then those ingredients can indicate celebration and accomplishment.
Crepe paper streamers, banners, candles, balloons, flowers, special clothing (your fanciest shoes, a new hat) gatherings of friends, trophies, diplomas and awards can all indicate achievements worth celebrating. Try using one or two of these items on occasions for which you wish to generate motivation.
If you are nervous on the first day of the new job, celebrate completing the day with sparkling apple juice or diet cola served in your best champagne flutes, and candles on the dinner table. Put a few gold stars on your calendar for getting through a difficult homework assignment. Buy your little girl a trophy engraved with her name for cleaning up her room for a whole month.
There is no such thing as too much praise or celebration. Is there too much motivation? Of course not-the more the merrier. Fresh flowers on the table just to say how much you appreciate yourself can do a lot toward making you happier any day. A new trashy romance novel can be a great reward/celebration for reading your required technical books.
The important point is that celebration of what you have accomplished already will create motivation to accomplish more.
Get creative with your celebrations, have fun. Celebrate a cherished friendship with an impromptu lunchtime picnic, and a balloon. Above all, have fun. That's the objective!
If you find yourself around someone who takes command and tells you what you should be doing, or comments unasked about how you are doing things wrong, or otherwise appoints him/herself as the boss in your life, you may find your newly-created motivation flagging. Remember to fire them as your boss. It's YOUR life, and you are doing whatever you are doing because you WANT to. You need to give no better reason to anyone but yourself.
Once you have fired this self-appointed boss, then you may need to remind yourself of how much you have accomplished without that kind of help. Celebrate your independence, your spirit, your willingness to be responsible for yourself.
It is also possible to set up informative books, articles, television authorities, gurus, etc. up as your boss-in which case, you will again find your motivation flagging. These informational aids can be useful, but only if your keep them in perspective.
Remember, the boss gets information about how to run things, gets educated, goes for help when necessary, BUT the boss is still in charge. The information is there for your use, but no expert, (no, not even a therapist) can know if the information is right for you.
If you remember who the boss is, then you will use the information wisely and judiciously, rejecting whatever there is that does not suit your style or personality. You will use it to support and further your goals, and to aid in the celebration of your accomplishments.
Whenever you find your motivation flagging, look around for how you are doing at being your boss. Are you using a motivational, supportive style? Have you let someone else take over your authority? Is there some appreciation you need?
Take a few minutes with yourself every day just for appreciation. It's easy, fun, and very effective. Imagine living every day energized and motivated!!
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086
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Thursday, 8 October 2020
How to Master the Stress of Every Day Life With Five Essential Strategies
What is the "new normal" like for you now, especially as related to your workday? Do you believe you will ever go back to business as usual, or work in the same manner you did, now that you have learned how to adapt and work in a different manner? Are you feeling that you are able to cope with conditions related to your job, or is a matter of just surviving each day of your work week?
Life for many has become a matter of adjusting and adapting, and doing this at a rapid pace, sometimes with the proper tools and resources, and often on the fly. The initial sense of confusion and uncertainty is now growing into panic and increased agitation for many. Those who are employed are attempting to work at home, in spaces they never imagined they would be working, and feeling somewhat off balance.
Right now, the demands and responsibilities have shifted for many people in a significant manner, some for the better and for others, it has become much more challenging. The thought of turning on a computer now may not be that exciting, and in fact, there may be a sense of foreboding, as many try to navigate working in a virtual environment for the first time. It may also be challenging to translate many jobs to a remote position, and this will compound the amount of anxiety experienced. For those who did not have a strong working relationship with their colleagues or managers to begin with, the separation or distance now can strain these relationships even further.
I realize there has been much written about the topic of stress already, and it may seem as if there is nothing more to write about it, yet I would like to once again consider how to master it from an internalized perspective. Most people are thinking about their jobs, responsibilities, and how to cope. I want to have you also consider what is going on in your thoughts as well, and how you are processing the situation and events around you. Whether you realize it or not, you are internalizing the events you are experiencing and the related emotions along with these events, and if you are not careful, you can quickly build up negative emotions. This is what leads to stress, anxiety, depression, and worse.
It doesn't matter what type of job you have; everyone has an ability to experience pent up negative emotions as a result of what they are experiencing, just by trying to adapt to a new environment. This can be the culmination of small events, such as failing to access needed online files, building up to computer issues, resulting in built-up frustration. If you finally recognize you are frustrated, it may be at a point you are already feeling completely overwhelmed and have not taken care of your well-being. This is what I want to help you prevent, and I have some strategies you can implement to take care of your internal thought process.
The Internal State of Mind
Everything going on around you can potentially cause an emotional reaction within you, depending upon your connection with it. Right you are experiencing heightened emotions because of the events of our current crisis. You are more likely to become emotionally engaged the longer you watch or read the news and the headlines. You will also experience many emotions within as you attempt to adjust to new or adapted working conditions.
If you have never worked as a remote employee, or an employee who must now work within specified health conditions, you may react emotionally. These emotional reactions may not be noticeable at first, but if you are not happy with the changes, the negativity will build up slowly over time, until the residual effect culminates in a feeling of stress or anxiety. By the time you feel or experience any of these indicators, you may need significant self-work to recover and re-balance yourself.
Perceptual Influences
There is something else to consider and it is how you perceive the circumstances around you. During a time of crisis there is information and misinformation being shared. In the search for updates, you may find yourself perceiving events as they actually are or as you believe they are. There is a difference and it is based upon your worldview or mental model. What happens is that your emotions begin to influence what you see and hear, along with what you believe, creating a perceptual filter. This is also true for your job and the responsibilities which are associated with it. In your position you may perceive it to be challenging, or you may accept it is easy to adapt to before and now.
Strategies to Master the Stress of Every Day Life
Stress and anxiety, which are indicators of a problem, do not appear all at once. Both are a result of ongoing negative feelings which have been internalized for several days and/or weeks. It may gradually manifest in your job, perhaps in the tone of emails or other communication. Or it may result in feelings of being afraid, experiencing fear, or a general sense of hopelessness about your situation. If you do not manage what you are experiencing, not only can it become more challenging to resolve, it can eventually appear in your performance. You can use the following strategies to help you master what you are feeling and control the potential for stress.
Strategy #1: Am I experiencing a negative reaction?
As you are going about your regular work day, look for anything which produces a negative trigger. Pay attention to it. This is an emotion you are feeling right now. You do not have to analyze it, rather you just need to acknowledge you are experiencing it. This may occur during a busy work day, so for the time being, just make a note of the time and a general description of the triggering event.
Strategy #2: Do I need to examine why I experienced a negative reaction?
At the end of the day, take a look at the list of your events. Then examine in more detail what caused the trigger and led you to experience a negative reaction. To what degree did you react? How strongly did you feel negative emotions? You may find it helpful to write this out, depending upon the complexity of the triggering event. The purpose is to take away the negativity of the situation, so you are better able to understand it and give yourself a sense of relief as you take action.
Strategy #3: What do I have within my power to control now?
One of the challenges associated with built-up negative emotions is the feeling of hopelessness. It is possible to begin to feel so bad about the culmination of occurrences, you believe nothing is going to get better or change. Or worse, you may feel as if no one is going to help you. But what you always maintain control of are your thoughts. You can decide how to respond to each and every situation which arises, even if you are challenged at times. What you can do is to learn to stop before reacting, and use logic before emotions to evaluate situations. This gives you the power of control, acting in a controlled manner.
Strategy #4: How can I maintain a positive attitude?
If you are going to become proactive and master every day conditions which can lead to stress, you can also change your attitude as part of this approach. You can decide to face each day as it presents itself, good, not so good, or otherwise, and be able to manage it effectively. Why? Because whatever the day brings, you will find a way to be successful. If you cannot address something, you will ask for assistance. If you need a break, you will take it. But you are stronger than you can imagine, you have an ability to persevere, and you will rely upon your internal GPS to guide you through any time which requires you to be adaptable, flexible, and proactive.
Strategy #5: How can I make my present situation better?
Now that you have examined your triggering events, and your disposition, you can decide what steps are needed next to make your working conditions or job more manageable. As an example, do you need to have a conversation with your supervisor about how to adapt to the new normal? Or should you speak with your colleagues and ask for tips and recommendations related to the position? The purpose is to ask for assistance and relieve any potential for negative feelings which you have become accustomed to feeling. You may also need to consider how your home working environment needs to change or become better adapted to your required job responsibilities.
How You Feel Becomes Who You Are
Can you remember your jobs from a perspective of the time when you enjoyed it the most? Perhaps it was the first day you were hired and you loved arriving at work, eager to complete your job duties. But now the job responsibilities have changed to a new normal. A job you loved, or possibly grew to loathe, has now produced feelings of frustration, exasperation, and worse, because you are attempting to adapt to different working conditions. If you are experiencing negative emotions, and these feelings persist, it can decrease your ability to perform your very best. When you no longer feel a sense of peace or stability about your job, it can show up in your disposition and work product.
What you can do is control what you think about your situation, including your job and your adapted working conditions. If you look at this time as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and discover more about your ability to grow, you will change how you view your job responsibilities. Without a doubt this is an extraordinary time in our lives, and yet it is time for you to re-engage with yourself and discover the best of your abilities. You do not need to deny or feel bad about the natural reactions you experience. But what you can do is to acknowledge your feelings and then be alert to address them, to prevent continued distress. You have incredible talent within you, the sum of your career and what you have learned. Once you adapt and view your job and yourself anew, you can once again return to enjoying your every day.
Dr. Bruce A. Johnson is an inspirational author, writer, and teacher.
Dr. Johnson's background involved helping others, including people and organizations. His roles have included Manager of Training and Development, Human Performance Improvement Consultant, Online Instructor, Career Coach, Curriculum Developer, Manager of Faculty Development, and Chief Academic Officer.
Since 2005, Dr. J has specialized in distance education, adult education, faculty development, online teaching, career management, career development, and human performance improvement. He has a Ph.D. in Postsecondary and Adult Education, a Certificate in Training and Performance Improvement, and a Master of Business Administration, MBA. Presently Dr. J is a Core Faculty member for one of the premiere online universities.
As a scholar practitioner, Dr. J was published in a scholarly journal and he has been a featured presenter at an international distance education conference. He has also published books, eBooks, and over 200 online articles about adult learning, higher education, distance learning, online teaching, and professional development, helping to fulfill his life's mission to teach, mentor, write, and inspire others.
To discover resources available for educators, along with professional development, please visit: http://www.drbruceajohnson.com/
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Wednesday, 7 October 2020
Buy a Franchise Make Money or Get Ripped Off?
Let's face it many of the good franchise money making opportunities have been taken a long time ago. But you still want a franchise? What and where do you look? In my opinion, what's new, what's hot, what's the latest and greatest. Is it a fad,does it have the ability to grow, who is behind it?
First you need to find what interests you. Remember you will spend more time running your own businesss than you will at home. So it better be something you like and something that is affordable. Don't put your life's fortune, your home, your family at risk for a franchise. Don't roll the dice and risk it all. Make sure you leave yourself a fall back position.
Once you select a franchise do your homework. Start with the franchisees who have stores for sale. This is done for two reasons, first, you may get a better deal buying existing than a new store. Also, you want to know why they are getting out. The number one reason is usually they are not making it. They will tell you all the problems with the franchise, some true, some not. The more franchisees you talk with that are selling, the better questions you will develop if you decide to approach this franchise to do a new location.
When you have finished your fact gathering quest, focus on the main people running this franchise. How long has the CEO, President and COO been with this company? Has there been consistent turnover at the top? If so not a good sign. Has the company moved multiple times to different states? Usually a sign of problems with that state, also not good.
Support is a huge and important issue. What type of training will you need and how long? Do you also get help when you open the store? Do they have a good marketing system and do they funnel enough money in to marketing the concept? Strong support or lack there of tells you a lot about a company.
New store growth is it a steady 10% or is it not there? Every good concept should have some piece of positive growth. If everyone is selling their stores, also not a good sign.
How about fees? What are these folks charging, is it high or is it low? What's your buy in and does it make sense? These are just a few ideas of what to look for in your pursuit of a franchise. As you can see don't make an uninformed decision. Do your home work and go into this with a good knowledge base. Good luck
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Bob_Moglia/129902
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